Love cheats, fraudsters and visa seekers: The reality of Gambian men

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(Last updated on: 03/09/2020)

Since returning from my trip to the Gambia I have done some research into the country, the people, the way of life and the reality of Gambian men. After experiencing first hand what it can be like to be ‘wooed’ by Gambian men, I have done a lot of reading around the subject. I have also had contact with hundreds of women who feel that they have been treated badly by Gambian men (see comments at the end of this post).

My personal experience with Gambian men

I am by no means an expert with regards to Gambian men.

In fact, I’m glad that I’m not! Because it sounds like most people who are knowledgeable in this field are actually the ones who have been cheated on, experienced fraud or who have been used as a meal ticket for a British visa….

But just to give this post a bit of context, here is my personal experience in brief:

I made a ‘friend’ in The Gambia who became a little too friendly. After declaring his love continuously for my friend whilst in the country (and did not get the response he was looking for) he proceeded to do the same with me.

He then began asking me for money, time and time again. He would continuously call me via Skype after I returned home. He continued to tell me that ‘he loved me’ over and over again. When I stopped answering his calls on Skype he would Facebook message me.

It took about three years (this man was persistent!), but eventually he stopped trying to contact me. I now have limited [update-no] contact with him.

Gambia lovecheat
The Gambian Bumster who tried to ‘woo’ me

The reality of Gambian men: Real examples

In my previous post on sex tourism in The Gambia, I discussed how many (often of an older age) women appear to travel to the Gambia in search of a young, fit African man. The benefit to the Western woman here being clear. However my research has shown that the benefits for the men far outweigh those to the women.

When looking, there are literally hundreds of stories on the internet written by predominantly English women. I found this extremely shocking, whilst insightful to read. Here is a summary of some of the things I read:

  • Gambian men declaring their love for Western women when they have a Gambian wife and kids
  • Gambian men introducing their ‘sister’ to the Western girlfriend/wife when in fact it is their Gambian wife
  • Gambian’s marrying the Western woman to get a British passport then when reaching England disappearing never to be seen again
  • Gambian men that serial date- they are being named and shamed on the internet!
  • The men pray 5 times a day in attempt to make up for all the wrong they are doing by serial dating/having multiple wives etc (perhaps opinion rather than fact)
  • On average Gambian men have 1.6 wives
  • On average Gambian men have 8.4 children, whereas Gambian women have 6.4

These examples are not isolated cases, there are so many examples of this on the internet, and what’s funny is that many of the stories quote things that the men have said to them, and they all say things that I have myself heard from Gambian men! Some of these stories many can be found on the Naming and shaming Gambian ‘love cheats’

I would like to point out that this information is all gathered from research and not my personal experience. I would also like to say that I am not by any means saying this is the case for all Western/Gambian relationships. I am simply sharing information that I was very shocked to read.

*New for 2019*

I have done some extensive research into this, and wow(!), there are so many stories of women who have been cheated by these, so called, ‘Gambian love-cheats’! I have put some of this research together for you in a helpful guide, with 10 tell-tale signs, based on real examples, that your man might not be entirely legit! You can download the Quick Stop Guide to Determine if The Man You are Dating is a Gambian Love-Cheat here. 

If you have any similar or contradictory experiences I would love to hear then-please comment below!

257 Comments
  1. Bonnie

    my friend and I have recently returned from the Gambia – 3 weeks ago. she is 72 and I am 57. She seems to be totally smitten with her ’52 yr old’ and he is in constant touch with her and seems to ask for money or indicates that he needs to pay for things. so far she has sent him 18,000D and now he has asked for 50,000D – I have tried to get her to see that he is a player. he said his mother had died and he needed money to get to the funeral. Now he says he needs a new passport and he wants her to go back for two months and get a visa for him…am I wrong to be so worried???

    • Hayley

      You should absolutely be worried! Although I’m sure there are many true relationships between Western women and Gambian men, they way he is asking for so much money etc definitely rings alarm bells to me! There are sooo many stories like this on the Internet-maybe show her some examples and see what she thinks!!

      • Worried...

        Hi Hayley,
        yes I cut and pasted some of the stories and sent them to her – she says she’s not stupid and knows… but that’s not the impression I’m getting. She told him that she would go back and fetch him and he can stay with her for 3 months with her at her villa in Spain……now I’ve just found out that he’s not 52 but 38…he wants her to go over on her own…she’s 72….I’m banging my head…!!! She’s fallen for all the lovey-dovey words he’s saying to her on the phone…

        • Hayley

          Oh dear, sounds like you have probably done all you can, perhaps she needs to find out for herself?

          • Worried...

            lets hope that now she has found out his age that might deter her….thanks for listening…I’ll keep you posted…

          • Hayley

            Yes please do! And good luck!!

      • Sol

        I am a Gambian man and lived in the UK for more than 20 years. I am also a city trader with three houses in the UK. I have been in many relationships with British women, some of whom wanted money from me and others wanted me to marry them. Having experienced these weird requests from a few minority am I to judge all British women as materialistic, users and gold diggers? I hope not!

        Although I agree that Gambia is a poor country with a population of less than 2 million and most of the men are unemployed, that doesn’t mean that all Gambian men are users, desperate to come to the west or looking for lonely old western women as targets. We have to be matured about this subject and understand that in every country there are good and bad people. I am sure that we’ve all heard the old saying…..few bad mangoes in a bag can easily rotten the rest.

        Finally, it is also important to consider the other side of the argument……What are these women doing in the Gambia to pounce on the young men in the first place? In most cases, if these sort of activities happened in many western jurisdiction these women could be charged with pedophilia.

        • danielle

          Very good arguments here, I also agree that older women preying on young men in Gambia is as bad as old western men preying on young girls abroad, it shouldn’t happen, these young people can be very poor and desperate, who does not want to improve their lives and maybe that of their family too. Have some respect for people, people have their pride.

        • Michelle

          Hi Sol, would you be prepared to have a chat with me regarding a documentary I’m making? If you could drop me an email at michelle.barratt@ninelivesmedia.co.uk that would be great.
          Many thanks,
          Michelle

          • Hayley

            Hi Michelle, If you need any help with the documentary feel free to contact me at hayley@lifeasabutterfly.com. I also took part in one last year focussed on Cabin Crew. Regards, Hayley

        • caz

          well said sol I agree I myself have a Gambian husbnd who is wonderful and while I have been in gambia have spoken to some of these older women who have admitted they go for the young men

        • j saydee

          So many women although older who go to Gambia clearly have no life experience Io they would know immediately the genuine Gambian men and the scammers …. I am married to a Liberian christian guy who lives in Gambia we have been together for 4 years I have been to Gambia many many times..see everything and the European women who know nothing about African culture or don’t seem even interested..Scammer men and women are easy to spot and as European women take advantage also of Gambian men & women . Sexual abuse rife on both sides European men and women with Gambians that are clearly too young.
          The European women..they live in tourist accommodation hotels with all the facilities not in a compound as I often have have …and see the real Gambia. If they did they would know why the men seek money ..many guys often dont even have enough daily to even eat ! RESEARCH LADIES dont walk in blind they you would not be blaming Gambian men nearly so much!! makes me mad the men all tarnished with same brush..I see very elderly unattractive women with very handsome Gambian young men..be real ladies !! we are blessed in Europe with material goods maybe too much so humanity gets lost .African culture is very different from ours BUT it does nor mean that genuine love and marriage cannot come from that my marriage is proof of that

          • Gibril

            I thank you so much for your comment and you spoke very well,you see those desperate women who go to Gambia are Always fake,love has no boundaries and it can come from any where

          • mary

            Very well said. I have been communicating with a gambian male for some time and wonder why he wastes his time chatting with me.

          • shelia

            I am I love with an africain americain guy out in the gambia in fact we are engaged and want to get married and spend our life’s together but don’t know how to go about getting married and what we have to do on order for him to move over and live here in the UK with me I don’t have money he knows that so it’s not for that the way ppl make it out to be just need some advice in order for this to happen anyone help

          • Motivation Sheriff

            The common understanding about life is that poor or rich don’t really matter, what matters is that life is all about giving and receiving, am a Liberian and am also trying to get to the Gambia to see how life go on, but not all African men sell they love for money.

        • j saydee

          agree 100 %

        • J Saydee

          Agree totally

        • Naissa

          You have a point however you are missing the big picture. The issue here is the lies and deceit that some Gambian men are using to fool these women.
          Why not be straight? Just put all your cards on the table and see if the woman would agree to it.
          Most Gambian men won’t admit having someone else, they would hide it and tell you that they love you for who you are and once they reach UK, they become ungrateful and treat you badly.
          The fact that they lie about their age so easily proves something!
          I am not in this position but I can understand the warnings. I am here on this page because I date a Gambian man and he constantly lies and won’t admit the truth. There is a clear lack of understanding for Western value.

          • GLORIA CORNISH

            YES YOU CAN PUT THEM ALL IN ONE BASKET !!

        • Saeda Najib

          I forgot to say I have 3 sons and my eldest son 22 years lives with me

          Please add this paragraph to my first comment

        • Sia Rose

          How the Hell is it peadophilia ??? What a stupid comment. The fact is many men from these poor countries prey on and con older women!!! I take great delight in going along with their BS then dropping them like hot stones!! They make me sick with declarations of love. Yuk!!!

        • Will

          Very well said my brother. Typical British sentiment! She portrays her people as vulnerable and helpless and Gambians the bad ones.

          They deserve whatever they get in return for using our boys as sex toys!

        • Rij

          Im albanian almost one year now im in relationship with gambian man and im living my best life i ever lived before… he is best guy i ever meet in my life so honest and handsome ,cute every word i say for him is not enough to subscribe him … and all peoples is not same 😁

        • RosesRoses

          You have got to be kidding. Pedophilia? Now blaming possible victims are the criminals. (sarcasm) Such a typical negative response. Just so you know, a grown man over 18, or in his 30’s is not a child. Not something I would advocate, but tourist love affairs are usually commonly referred to as a behavior between mutually consenting adults. The occurrence of men wooing an American or British woman and exploiting her is far too common. So don’t get your haftan in a bunch.

      • Nancy van Damme

        Hello Hayley and everybody else,

        Gambia is a poor country just like all African countries. These countries has been ruined by the Western countries in the past. They abused them as slaves and took all the fortune to the Western countries.
        These people are poor and have no other way and they try but they dont succeed to get enough money for their family. This week i talked to someone who said that he sometimes dont have a meal because there is no money. Sometimes they eat only yoghurt. Young men want to go to school but there is no money to get educated. He says he want to go to the Western country to study and and later to help their poor people in his country. Please dont judge poor people. What would you do if you were in their position? You had no money and you were black and no food. I think i would do the same to get in touched with white people. Because white people dominated the world with their wealth and their greedy attitude.
        Why dont you go and take a look at their poor villages. Everybody closes their eyes when it comes to see the reality of their lives. Just spend one day in the poor villages and you will experience that. Children have sometime for days no meal. How would you feel if you were in their position????
        You only come to the beach and enjoy the relax life. Did you thought about how the indoor people live.???
        I know they have a good heart and indeed there are good and bad people over the whole world.
        Please dont judge them.
        African people are the most humbled people than the rest of the world!!!

        • Dr Hayley Stainton

          Indeed- you may be interested to read my post about sex tourism in The Gambia, Nancy. That provides lots of informative information on the issue.

      • Michelle Taylor

        If his asking for money it’s a red flag
        Because I been married to my gambian husband we live in gambia and visit uk for summer and he has never he works at the statehouse never ask me for a penny and in fact has taught me not to waste money

    • Paul

      He will take all her money. He is not in love with her, he is in love with the money he can get from her. I know this the same thing happened to my ex partner. She hates flying but she got on a plane to gambia, met the guy married within 2 days, stayed for 5 more days and then returned to uk on her own. She has now been married 3 years and seen him 3 times., all her money has gone and she now rents 1 room in a house.

      • Juliet

        You are so right. It’s not only absurd these old ladies look absolutely revolting when you see them in the Senegambia strip with what looks like their grandsons. For goodness sake ladies get a grip.
        I was married to a Gambian man (same age) whom I met in the UK. We married after 2 years and several visits to Gambia to meet his family. He had no other wives and we were married for 8 years and happy. Then I made a fatal mistake and bought a villa in Gambia in joint names. I’m paying for that mistake both financially and emotionally ever since. Some of these men have the patience of saints when it comes to getting your money!! He contributed nothing financially and did end up with only 7% of villa. 8 years since the divorce I am still in the Gambian courts trying to gain vacant possession of villa so I can sell! He left me when the debts outweighed the assets by the way. Then took possession of the only asset I had left. I am lucky in that I have managed to register the UK order with the Gambian courts but even now he is still in the villa with paying tenants whilst I am in a hotel waiting for a contempt of court action! My legal fees to date exceed £16,000. He is now asking for £10,000 to get out of villa on condition I stop contempt of court action against him. I cannot and will not reward this man any further and am praying the court support my application. The sale of the villa will not even begin to cover my losses but it’s all I have left. Please AVOID AVOID AVOID these men. Court on Monday feb 12 2018

        • Val

          Omg I have just meet a Sargent in the gambian army.he is now in Suden on pace keeping…u have just put me right off him . I hope everything turns out the best for you…..was things ok before u brought the villa…why did he put no money in

          • Juliet

            We had been together 6 years, met in UK and he had been working in my business although always taking more than he earnt. I sold a property in UK to purchase villa. The minute the villa was purchased he changed completely. i have just returned from Gambia after over 8 weeks trying to get a court date for contempt of court against him. Believe me whether you believe it or not there is a lot of anti European feeling in Gambia and so much corruption. The British embassy can’t do anything and finding a good lawyer is virtually impossible. Add to that there are so few judges and so many excuses for holidays!!! Elections, death, military parades, Tobaski, Easter, Christmas etc all allow for courts to shut down for 2 weeks or longer Someone I came across has been in a land battle for nine years now. It’s no surprise when the courts are so frequently closed. So far I have had four court dates, showed up for all of them and all been cancelled. Next date 25th April but I’m not holding my breath. It’s funny you mention Sudan as one of my court dates was cancelled as there was a parade that all judges had to attend due to the soldiers being sent there. Just be careful would be my advise. Don’t fall for the relative in hospital, school fees, sick child stuff. It may take a while before he starts asking for money but it will happen.

        • Malicka

          Hello, did you get your villa sold?
          A similar thing happened to me.

  2. Lucy Dala

    I live in u.s. and im 25 dating a 25 yr old man from gambia. he moved a month b4 we met n hes amazing. i made it clear he’d be wasting his time if he tryin use me. he was embarassed of their rep. hes kind. im a single mom no ring or scam. hes refreshing.

    • mary

      that is wonderful.

    • Michelle Taylor

      It’s not all gambian men like that but the ones who are make it bad for the rest my brother in law is married to a American woman and never ever asked her for money and shes never sent his sister is married to a american guy they have 2 boys she works here in her shop
      And my husband has never asked for anything he will kn fact say dont spend and we live in gambia he has no wife’s anz we are always together what ever we do we do together so just like in Jamaica or even uk usa u have to be aware of red flags why would u give a man money who never contributes to anything and asking for loads of money plus if he wants a visa to go abroad it’s all red flags u just have to be sensible no man can con u unless u allow it I understand the one with the villa but the ones just handing money to poor gambian men who have no skills no jobs is very silly a man telling u he loves u is differant to a man showing u he loves you

  3. A 4 REAL

    I live in the U.S. and is dating a 36 year old Gambian man I am 42,he has been here for 15 years.He has been very good to me so far.My ears and eyes are always open.My tolerants for nonsense is o-none.all I can say is if they care they will stick it out.DONT MARRY quick.take your time and make him wait or he can keep it MOVING!!!!!

  4. Jane

    I am british and I getting engaged soon to a Gambian man and we are about the same age (35circa). trouble is I hear these stories and as i have bought him gifts, he asks for money to support him and not bothered about seeing me I am now getting more concerned and he says we will also marry.???

    • tracy

      I am a British girl age 35 in relationship with a gambian man for 1.5 years then got married we both don’t want children and is now 7 years living together happily. I must say that we do have problems but thats life sometimes his fault sometimes mine. In any country both men and women do have negative and positive behaviours or act what are read here applies to all other countries in the maybe west is even worst. My advice is pray to meet a good man or women. My gambian man is true loving, caring, honest and human. Good luck in your search.

      • Jacquie

        I’ve meet a Gambian man on Facebook and am to visit him in November. My friends say be careful they only want money, visa & sex. Mine has shown no signs of this. Thank you for being positive. Mine calls me each evening spending 50 dalasi of his 80 dalasi daily wage. You can’t paint everyone with the same brush.

        • Michelle Barratt

          Hi Jacquie, are you from the UK? Would you be interested in speaking to me about a documentary I’m making? If so, please get in touch – michelle.barratt@ninelivesmedia.co.uk
          Many thanks.

          • Ibrahim

            Hello michelle, am Ibrahim from Gambia. Working on a Tourist cruise boat in Gambia for 11 years now and am 32.. So would be intressted to know what kind of a documentary u making I will Love to help if I can, I just came across this page anyway I use only whatsap.. 002207715680 . Link me. Thanks

        • Julie Smith

          Do you seriously believe he spends over half his daily wage ringing you ? would you do that ? He will have many women sending him money, you are just another white woman ready to believe he loves you and will find out financially what it’s really all about. Can’t you meet a man where you live who doesn’t spend two thirds of his daily wage ringing you, yeah right !!

        • Kimi

          Well Jacquie his phoning you but at another womans expense…that’s how they operate…you will find out yourself when you live with this man 24/7…trust me all he be doing is constantly phoning other woman telling them he miss them, love them and all other b.s…

          • Kim Sow

            One of the things that never faces to amaze me is why women respond to these men on Facebook as if they are living in the next door villlage and have the same culture and religion. Just because they dress the same as people you know they are as different as an Afganistan Taliban or Eskimo. The Red Flags are there a) Why are they on Facebook trying to get a relationship with you? Because they want to come to the Europe b) Why are they seeking a Christian woman? Because for many we are just a pece of trash that can be used – a Toubab. c) Why do the women in the UK not workout how much it is going to cost them to have a relationship and get them to the UK. You can say goodbye to at least £10K and when they get here what then. None of their qualifications are acceptable. The Policeman you met may have to was dishes. I’ve known doctors who have had to clean the streets! The musicians can earn possibly £50 a gig once or twice a week. It takes years to establish themselves and what then………..if they divorce you you can end up paying for them for the rest of your life. Some of them are coming with aide memoires on how to divorce and get your assets. How do I know because my Bigamist husband who I met in the UK face to face put a charge on my property and sued for divorce. As it is the divorce hearing is in May and I am resigned to losing my home. A home he never input one penny in and is not on the Land Registry. My friends please learn from someone who has been burned and who now supports women in Immigration Marriage Fraud UK………..we have not found one who is not already married! The aim is to get your assets and bring their wives and family to the UK !

        • Vicki

          Jackie…I just read your comment. I too have just met a Gambian man through Facebook…I however am afraid to go there to meet. I’ve been looking for someone to talk to about this…can you PLEASE email me at vwoods@shaw.ca..

          • Mark

            Don’t get involved. I spent 5 wk there. Gambia is nice for a holiday. That’s it. If u like black find one in the UK. Is much easier. They will play u like a tune. It’s in there nature.

          • Mari

            Be careful if u meet in UK cuz I meet A Gambian man in UK Security guard and him proposed two woman’s to get married Cuz Citizenship in UK have rubbish liars Gambian not just in Gambian

          • mary

            Did you ever meet him?

          • DONNA

            omg. I MET MY GAMBIAN HUSBAND ON MOCOSPACE, EVERYTHING WAS SO BEAUTIFUL WE CHAT ALL THE TIME, ON SKYPE, E-MAIL, TELEPHONE, HE BOUGHT MY PLANE TICKET, SEND ME STUFF IN THE MAIL (DHL) HELLOOO, OMG I HAVE FOUND MY PRINCE OPPORTUNIST MUSLIM PRAYING FIVE TIME A DAY LOOKING FOR MONEY USER BUT I KNOW THE GAME I SAW THE MOVIE HE DID NOT KNOW THAT. ANYWAY I FILED FOR HIM TWICE IMMIGRATION WAS DENIED, WHILE DOING THE PAPER I PRAYED TO GOD I ASKED GOD TO DENY THE VISA IF THE YOUNGER MAN IS JUST USING ME AND THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED, I DID NOT GIVE HIM MONEY OR SEND HIM MONEY, I VISIT HAD A GOOD TIME, LAST THING I KNOW HE HAVE WIFE NUMBER 3 SO LADIES BE AWARE OF THE VILLAGE BOYS TRYING TO GET OUT OF AFRICA BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY, PSST!!!!!!! AM AMERICAN/ CARIBBEAN WOMAN AINT BUYING LOVE, HE WAS UPSET BECAUSE I DID NOT BUY HIM A CAR OR SEND HIM MONEY TO HELP HIM WITH HIS FAMILY

          • Julia

            Hi ,just read your note i am currently in the same position,please tell me what happens next.

        • mary

          Did you visit him? How did it turn out?

          • Vicki

            Hi Mary, Yes I did eventually go to Gambia to meet him…and we got married. It was awesome there, aside from the heat. His family and friends are wonderful, loving people. Looking into the paperwork to bring my husband here with me, and I hope to go back to Gambia again this year and stay longer. I am very happy…

      • Anna

        Hello Tracy, we are a London based Television Production Company looking for articulate ladies to feature in a new celebrity-led television documentary exploring the modern woman’s attitude towards relationships and holiday romances. We are looking for stories of people who have found happiness with their holiday romance and are now happily married, or people who it all went wrong for when you brought them home to Britain. We would also like to follow someone on their quest to Gambia who is looking to meet someone. If you are interested in being involved or would like to know more please email cheryl@thumbsupproductions.tv

        • Nikks

          Hello I’ve been seeing a Gambian man who’s lived in this country for 20 yrs so knew he had his stay here, and wasn’t looking to marry me to get citizenship but this man has had money off me on the pretence of borrowing it never to be seen again, they tell you they love you talk about there family’s back home needing things sick realatives anything to get money of you! His sister calling him nearly every day , I’ve been with this man 16mths and at first trusted him completely have found out his sister is his wife he also skypes and face books other women all the time …… There not to be trusted ever….. I found out on his messages yet he still denies it!! I wish I’d never met him there so deceitful they don’t care who they hurt as long as they keep getting the money.

          • mary

            How awful!

        • sharon clarke

          Hi I married my Gambian husband last year bloody nitemare so much to tell u please call me on 07947995045

          • Ann

            They are a nightmare.Just keep away.They are in breed to tell lies to you.They think love is everything.They cheat you ,want money and then want to marry you.I don’t think so

      • Karen

        I am worried whether I should meet my Gambian man who seems very lovely and wants to meet me! What do I do? x

        • Kim Sow

          Your asking an impossible question. It’s a bit like asking I want to go on holiday to Sierra Leone but I hear it has an outbreak of Ebola….If you were a doctor dealing with such cases you would say no, no, no. Well I deal with hundreds of cases coming from Gambia/Senegal and I would say no. If he is in the Gambia he is very likely already married as they get married early in life and its the norm. So many times I have been contacted by women saying no you are wrong Kim he is not married and then a few weeks later they call me to say I am right. Even if he isn’t married you will spend the rest of your life supporting his family – believe me when the phone calls come in saying his mother has malaria or needs an exray it is very very hard to say no.

          • Julie Smith

            Why is it hard to say no ? How do people have all this money to throw at strangers ? What is it that attracts you white women to these Africans ? What’s wrong with meeting a man in your own country, town ? I don’t understand what it is that make women get on a plane land in a Country and 10 mins later be off with 1 buy their food, drinks, lodgings and then send money, they don’t know these men, they see them twice a year, that’s not a relationship, get a grip and think about it seriously ??

        • Paul

          Stay well clear. You will loose all your money take notice of friends and family they are only trying to help. You wouldn’t give £10 to a stranger in the street but you would probably gives thousands away to a Gambian man who says he loves you and lives miles away

    • Anna

      Hello Jane, we would love to speak with you and hear your story. We are a London based Television Production Company looking for articulate ladies to feature in a new celebrity-led television documentary exploring the modern woman’s attitude towards relationships and holiday romances. We are looking for stories of people who have found happiness with their holiday romance and are now happily married, or people who it all went wrong for when you brought them home to Britain. We would also like to follow someone on their quest to Gambia who is looking to meet someone/is dating. If you are interested in being involved or would like to know more please email cheryl@thumbsupproductions.tv

    • Julie Smith

      You’re getting engaged to a man who takes your money and doesn’t care about seeing you ! would you do this in Britain ? come on wake up he wants your money. Marry him and he could take everything, desperation is what this is, go on a dating site if you’re so desperate, love doesn’t cost money, why isn’t he giving you money ? he’ll have more coming in every month from all his other desperate women !!

    • mary

      the gambia man that I have communicated with i offered to send a gift and he refused. I wanted to see if he was really into the gifts. I am confused by his motivation. I am not sure if he really is in the Gambia or where he is to be honest., People could say they are from anywhere online.

  5. Michelle Barratt

    I am a British journalist investigating the trend in Western women visiting the Gambia and getting involved in relationships with Gambian men. I would be interested in speaking to anyone who has had, or is in a relationship, or anyone from the Gambia either for or against this practice. It is just for research purposes. If you would like to get in touch, please email michelle.barratt@ninelivesmedia.co.uk
    All information will be treated in the strictest confidence.

    • Sol

      Hi Michelle further to your request more than a year ago here is my email if you’re still interested talking to me about your documentary.
      maduwa3987@gmail.com

  6. Sol

    I am a Gambian man and lived in the UK for more than 20 years. I am also a city trader with three houses in the UK. I have been in many relationships with British women, some of whom wanted money from me and others wanted me to marry them. Having experienced these weird requests from a few minority am I to judge all British women as materialistic, users and gold diggers? I hope not!

    Although I agree that Gambia is a poor country with a population of less than 2 million and most of the men are unemployed, that doesn’t mean that all Gambian men are users, desperate to come to the west or looking for lonely old western women as targets. We have to be matured about this subject and understand that in every country there are good and bad people. I am sure that we’ve all heard the old saying…..few bad mangoes in a bag can easily rotten the rest.

    Finally, it is also important to consider the other side of the argument……What are these women doing in the Gambia to pounce on the young men in the first place? In most cases, if these sort of activities happened in many western jurisdiction these women could be charged with pedophilia.

    • Binthere2

      Having lived and worked in Gambia as a white woman knowing the Gambian guys from the beach boys to several ministers I can sadly say that YES they are all the same. After many years on my own I recently succumbed to a wonderful man who was so genuine . . . . or so I thought. Within a couple of months he just proved to be exactly the same and I thought I was wise to the situation between Gambian men and white woman. Unfortunately and with great sadness I say stay well away unless you are willing to throw your money at them, listen to their lies and be constantly.deceived.

      • mary

        wow that is very sad indeed. thank you for the words of wisdom.

  7. usgirl

    Yes. I have dated a gambian man,and was he a charmer.be very careful they lie and tell you what you want to hear.keep your eyes and ears open at all times.and, they say you shouldnt follow no one but if you go by he say you probably will get hurt,so from time to time check the cell phones and follow him.do your own investigating and you might be in for a BIG SURPRISE!

    • carol williams

      Hi, i marrierd a gamgian man ,i met him on facebook ,well he got in touch with me i was not looking for anyone but things happened that i went out there and met him , we got married within the 2 weeks i was there , almost soon after we are sorting paperwork for visa , i,m back in the UK ,still sorting it out but it has always been in the back of my mind why does he love me he,s 24 i,m 65 , i,m also thinking yes he just want,s to come to the UK, ,because i know i,m too old for him ,maybe yes he,s has a wife and kids ,he,s always on the phone site,s not to me only somtimes to see how i,m getting on with the visa to see if i can pay it from here , on viber whasapp, also messenger on facebook ,. hoe do i find out if he has a wife and kids just ned to know before he get,s the visa .thank you for reading in advance .

      • Kim Sow

        Run, run, run, run, run. Do not pay a penny more, do not support his visa. You are on the road to ruin. If you divorce you will have to pay him as you are the richer. If you own property he will get a share. He may even keep sweet for a few years until he gets his ILR but then he will be off. Learn from the thousands who have been had. Why do you think there are so many facebook sites about the issue – Gambian, liars and cheats, Gambian Bumpsters Honey Trap, Gambian Cheaters and our own Immigration Marriage Fraud UK. The Gambia only has a population of 1.9M …..The Red Flags are right before your eyes………he wants you for a Passport and is sweet talking you (grooming). If you want to know more we have a risk assessment of relationships on our website.

        • Paul butler

          Hi Kim, my partner went to Gambia met a guy married him within a day of meeting him came back after 1 week flew back out there 10 months later at xmas for 2 weeks and then going out there for 1 month in August. She has been sending lots of money to him on a regular basis . My daughter and I have told her he will take all her money from her and then divorce her and leave her penniless. Why can these women not see what is happening ? She says he is the most sincere, honest , genuine guy she has met

          • Mari

            Gambian man all the Same rubbish all him want is money and Visa The best disgusting people in the world Culture and Religion are Evils

          • Paul

            Gambian’s are sincerely poor, very few are con merchants in the strictest terms, but there is a culture of the toubab being their chance in life and marrying one is a part of that culture and they see nothing wrong in having multiple wives. If you marry one accept that the richer member of a family has a duty to support the rest of the family in Gambian culture and yes they dream of moving to the rich west.

            The culture is just very different that’s all. For these reasons, if you project your expectations on to something that is not the same of course you will be disappointed.

            But no Gambian will be offended by a NO! And they will still share their last food with you.

          • Kim Sow

            Tell her to go on the Immigration Marriage Fraud UK Website and read the stories from real people. Email me through the site and I will talk to her. She must start to understand that ‘The Game’ as it is called destroys lives. Every case we had last year turned out to be already married because the intent of the fraud is to support the existing family, get immigration status and then bring that family to the UK. The Gambia is the number one hot spot in the world for these frauds.

        • carol williams

          Yes kim i would like to know more and how do i get on your risk assessment .

      • Paul

        let mme have his details etc

    • carol williams

      How do i investergate .

  8. Leilah

    Hi guys, I am doing some reserach for a masters project about English-Gambian marriages. I was inspired to do this after my sister and dad both married Gambians and both had such contrasting experiences. My dad and his wife are both happily married as perfectly contented as far as I can tell. I would love to have some experiences to add to my research if anyone would be willing to share them?

    • lionness

      hi leilah, I am from holland but can tell you my story if you want. cheers,

    • lynda roane

      I married a gambian man and brought him to the uk.

      • lynda roane

        You can contact me if u want

    • kathrynesusan

      Hi Leilah,

      I hope your research is going well or went well if you’ve finished now. I’m a doctoral student doing similar research in this area. My project is a little different to yours from the sounds of things, but I hope you managed find some people to talk to. It’s great to see other postgrads invested in doing important work in this field!

  9. Hams

    I blame my fellow Gambians for everything. First of all i do not think a young healthy Gambian man should waste his time and health in hooking up with an older western woman. Let’s tell the truth. Them grumpy of western women go for the fresh Gambian blood. Wake up Gambian men and leave those old grumpy ladies alone. What is wrong with you Gambian fresh blood marry your kind and worry not

  10. Anna

    Hi all, we are a London based Television Production Company looking for articulate ladies to feature in a new television documentary exploring the modern woman’s attitude towards relationships and holiday romances. We are looking for stories of people who have found happiness with their holiday romance and are now married, or people who it all went wrong for when you brought them home to Britain. We would also like to follow someone on their quest to Gambia who is looking to meet someone. If you are interested in being involved or would like to know more please email cheryl@thumbsupproductions.tv

  11. reuben1st...

    Irie Greetings..I have no petty for all of u women…to be poor is a crime yes..it makes me sick when I see u old out of shape women walking around the Gambia with the young poor boys shame on u if that was somewhere else like Europe people will laugh at u all..but this is the Gambia where I live so its acceptable where the natives are poor and dont know better…education is the key for a better society and a better nation..im a rastaman living in africa I have seen the distraction u are doing to the life of the nation of gambia..give a man fish and he always depending on u but teach him how to catch fish and he will never go hungry again….education think befor u jump

    • Ann

      I went to the Gambia 7 years ago I kept in touch some stories I’ve read on here are not nice saying all ask for money /health I sent money as one of the Gambia man we meet took us around , looked after us had been knocked down sand in hospital I sent ,money to help all my friends said I was mad 3 months later he died I’ve kept in touch sent cloths ime planning going back Novemb and take little things to help friends I met there u don’t have to go Gambia to meet African men that just wants passport there in are country that are doing it as I well know Nigerian then they think they can treat you like doormats

    • mary

      I believe it is appalling to you

  12. lauren

    I am with a gambian man. Witch i meet in the uk. We was happy untill someone told me he had a wife and kids in gambia. Should i belive this. I can not fine the truth about it.

    • wietske

      if somebody tells you this you should definately take it seriously. I had a gambian boyfriend and found out he had more girls. I tried to warn one but she didnt believe me because he told her that i am crazy and that i wanted him and he rejected me. She didnt believe my story and he can continue with his lies.
      I should definately be warned!

      • mary

        yes it must be the culture

  13. Lamin

    It is a shame that most of my brothers and sisters are ungrateful and not content with what they have. I see no reason why young men are reluctant to improve their lives instead all they do is follow some very old western folks who are old enough to be their grannys.

    I am a Gambian, 26 years old residing in Georgia, US. I wasn’t from a rich family but thrived to make my life better back home, I worked for an International Financial Institution for 5 years in Gambia. I do not like the white ladies coming out their because they only hook up with irresponsible people like unemployed young men spending all their life’s at the beach.

    I do not want to post a comment here but I’m really pissed. I met someone here, she was so cool, sweet, humble and above all she was falling in love with me. Eventhough we’ve not dated for long I began to like her a lot and I couldn’t just stay a day without talking to her, in a nutshell she makes me happy. Everything was going fine until she came across this post yesterday night and she sent me the link and said “I don’t wanna talk to you anymore, Don’t wanna be used”.
    I am heart broken because I truly liked her and I can’t just take my mind off her. She’s not older she’s 25 and I’m 26 now she’s gone because she thinks I’m the same. I am so pissed and people should be responsible and stop been greedy on the contrary the old white ladies should avoid going in for young men that could be their grand sons. Now I’m struggling as she blocked my number I can’t even talk to her. One rotten potato spoils the whole bag!.

    • wietske

      sorry, but I had the same age of my boyfriend as well, but still it was a lie. The fact that you are the same age doesnt mean that it is real. If you are real i wish you the best, but this post doesnt prove anything!

      • Lamin

        Well that’s your own situation and sorry about it… Mine is different as I don’t need anything or any favours from her… We all live separately on our own…. I posted here because I was so posses about the unscrupulous behaviors of my fellow country men..

      • Binthere2

        And its not just the uneducated boys on the beach either. In my post earlier my guy is a senior security officer and both of us are the same age.

        • K

          Binthere2, Can I please ask you was this security office from Havant?

          • Binthere2

            No, he is a Government security officer as in one of the five security services in Gambia.

    • Ann

      Ime sorry to read what you put not all older woman just go to pray on young African men I went to Gambia 7 years ago did a lot charity things sent stuff over sadley one of the men died 4 years ago ,I hope when I go back in November not classed as old woman after toy boy

    • mary

      Did you ever get a hold of her again?

  14. Rachael Cook

    my nan has married a 30 year old gambian man and she is 75. They’d married after only seeing eachother 3 times in 4 years. he is now living with her but he is ‘working away’ all the time and my nan is paying for everything. she has spent over 5,000 pound on him over these past 5 years. people like this give gambian men a bad name.

    • Justine

      Rachael. You cant just blame your nan’s fake husband, she has to take responsibility at her age. Sorry but this is ridiculous. He is a chancer and she should know better. Some people are their own worst enemies.

      • Kim Sow

        Best wishes Justine – keep on touch. I would like to mention something about the post on the elderly lady being scammed by a younger man. I used to think like yourself that these women need to take responsibilityfor their own actions but now realise it is not so simple. If a 75 year old was being ripped off by a scamming builder replacing a tile roof the public would be up in arms however here we have a situation whereby it sounds like he is taking the roof!!! Maybe even the whole house? When you are caught in the grooming process it is very difficult to realise that it is going on especially if there has already been a huge emotional and financial investment. When she realises what is going on it is time for a big family sit down. As it stands at the moment she could lose absolutely everything.

  15. Sandra

    Gambian men are very good at meeting women from other countries to seek money, sex and papers to the womans country. I was engaged to a Gambian for almost 2 years and then found out he had married a Gambian. You may think you know him, his country and his people but you dont. Th Gambians hide a lot and are very deep bot within their family life and culture

    • mary

      Thank you for your input.

  16. Kim Sow

    Stop UK Marriage Fraud is a Campaign and Support group for victims of Immigration Marriage Fraud – see http://www.stopukmarriagefraud.com and look at the videos. Also join our Facebook site.

    One year ago today my husband walked out the door never to be seen again after having achieved his citizenship. I met him in the UK. He was Senegalese but it transpired he had spent decades in the Gambia. It was a long con. He perported to be a widower with 3 children who lived in Dakar. I met them and spoke to them on the phone, supported them and made plans to bring them to the UK……….but guess what 2 of the children belonged to a very much alive and kicking wife. In fact after my marriage they had another child and in fact it transpired he was a serial con man with 5 wives since 2002 and 5 or more children. The con involved numerous family members and friends.

    As the con was only about citizenship and financial assets on leaving he emptied my bank account sued for divorce and put charges on my property leaving me completely stuck. The Police and Home Office are investigating and the aim is to take him to trial for Bigamy fraud and other associated crimes!!!!!!!! So we can get justice if you know how to fight.

    • mary

      how deplorable.

      • Kim Sow

        Actually I am with a group called Immigration Marriage Fraud UK now which are the UK’s leading authorities on the issue. We lecture on the subject and are working with the UK authorities on the matter. Se our website – http://www.immigrationmarriagefrauduk.com

  17. kathrynesusan

    Hi guys,

    Similar to Leilah (above) I’m doing my doctoral research at university on women’s relationships with Gambian men. In my project I’m looking more at how English, American or Canadian women on holiday in Gambia end up meeting and forming relationships local guys, how their relationships play out while they’re abroad and what happens when women leave to come home. Do they stay in touch, do they end up in more serious relationships and do they go back out to visit again, how do women feel about their relationships/experiences and what makes them feel that way, etc.

    I was inspired to do my research on this subject because women don’t often get the opportunity to talk about their experiences with Gambian men, positive or negative, to seek reassurance or to just discuss their relationships without feeling like they might be judged in some way. The conversations on Topix that Hayley posts about really capture how some discussions around this topic can end up extremely volatile.

    My research is linked to themes of identity, intimacy and emotions and how we might experience things at home differently to when we are abroad- in this case relationships with men who live locally to the places we go to on holiday.

    If any one is interested in talking to me about their experiences, just drop me an email at uwhr.research2014@ncl.ac.uk or reply to this post. You don’t need to be married to your partner to help with this study- if you are that’s cool but your relationship could have been casual, serious, ongoing or over, whichever way, if you’d like to share your story and add it to this research, please feel free to get in touch.

  18. Julie

    Why oh why do people do this ? I will never understand you are all crazy going to The Gambia and going off with these bumsters, they think it’s hilarious how these ” stupid white women ” go there and within 5 minutes are buying them meals, drinks and taking them back to their hotels for sex, omg why ?? Do you have no respect for yourselves ? I have been and would never step foot back on that brothel ! I went with a friend who is now on her second ” relationship ” there, the latest I found out he is marrying an African who he has a child with so I rang to tell her now she isn’t speaking to me ! She pays his rent on a house she chose for him, he’s living with his future wife there and she pays for it all, she sends him money and buys expensive clothes for him and his kid while she has nothing ?? Why I will never know. If you want to risk getting AIDS or any other sexual disease then feel free to go and get involved with these ” men ” cause there seems to be a never ending stream of white women and men ready to lose every thing !!

    • mary

      yes one would think that AIDs would be a huge deterrent.

  19. The Connected Set

    NEW TV DOCUMENTARY ABOUT CIVIL LAW

    HAVE YOU UNWITTINGLY BEEN TRICKED INTO A SHAM MARRIAGE?

    HAVE YOU BEEN USED FOR A VISA?

    ARE YOU NOW CONTEMPLATING DIVORCE?

    We are making a television documentary series about civil law that that includes following the divorce process – from filing the divorce petition through to resolution (either divorce/‘decree absolute’, refusal, or reconciliation).

    We are particularly keen to speak to individuals who are the victims of a sham marriage, and who are now considering starting the divorce process. Perhaps your partner has disappeared now they’re in the UK? Perhaps they’ve admitted they’re with you for a visa and you’re devastated by the revelation? Whatever your story we’d like to speak to you.

    We are looking to speak to people at the earliest possible stage of the divorce process to potentially participate in the programme which is setting out to respectfully explore and document the British divorce process. Crucially we need to speak to people BEFORE they have submitted a divorce petition form and paid court fees.

    If you would be happy to discuss this further please contact one of our friendly researchers who can contact you at a time that’s convenient for you:

    Jaime Brown – 07597 652 574 or Jaime@theconnectedset.com or Becky Maynard – 07934 064 121 or becky@theconnectedset.com

    We hope to hear from you.

  20. lorraine camara

    I married a gambian man who after gaining his UK passport conned me out of around 20 k!

  21. Michelle

    Are you from the African community and sick of the reputation that young Gambian men are getting? Do you live in the UK? If so, we would love to speak to you about a documentary we are making. You can speak to me in complete confidence by emailing michelle.barratt@ninelivesmedia.co.uk

  22. Justine

    Somebody did not like the Topix forum because it is not longer accessable, all threads have been removed, all contacts with Topix friends, lost. Anyone else from Topix found this out yet? I had friends on there and now they are all lost. Who was scared of the truth> Where do women go now to talk? Years of advice gone and I cant see who to complain to.

    • Kim Sow

      We need a new forum. Perhaps on Face book? There is a new forum called Gambian Cheaters but from my experience I would steer clear of it. It seems to be a money making initiative. They only seem interested in selling stories and pointing to a very untested Private Detective Agency. At Immigration Marriage Fraud UK we tried to make links but were banned even from reporting that we are on BBC5Live on Tuesday talking about the issue?? They wanted a cut!! A cut of what? Very strange. Last week we got out in the MOS, Kent Radio, Kent FM online and radio, BBCTV SE and are involved in making 3 programs for release end of March. Can I invite you to join our group if the issues are Immigration Frauds and our Facebook Site. We have got free advice on how to get the UK Police and Home Office to address these cases. We have a meeting with Theresa May…………so we are working hard on the issue and aiming for an Immigration Marriage Fraud Unit set up like the Forced Marriage Unit. So if this is your specific issue join us at http://www.immigrationmarriagefraud.com – I was one of the regulars on the Topix Site under the name Kim Sow.

      • Justine

        Yes, I am Justine on Topix and I just found this page randomly so have lost my contacts but I have followed your posts, Kim. I prefer to stay anonymous so a FB site wouldn’t suit me. I wasn’t conned into a marriage so that part of it doesn’t apply to me but I am angry that I can’t advise on Topix any more or give my views. There seems to be no way to complain. I will keep following issues though. Best wishes. x

        • jacky p

          Hi justine.i am jacky p.i posted on gambia forum topix .went on other day to have look .it had disappeared .id love to no why also ..couldn’t believe it …I just stumbled over this page .probly wont find it again lol ..x

          • Justine

            Hi Jacky, yes, I remember you. If u add your e-mail, you will get notified of any replies if you subscribe and tick the 2 boxes. its easy but as for Topix, that is a real bummer. There is Mandi, Soccer Tees, Tutti, all gone forever unless they read this too!!!!! I wrote to topix to ask why they’ve removed the forum, maybe you can do the same…. its really a big shame. xx

          • mary

            did this topix ever resurface again? I would like to read it.

    • Roni in love

      People throw the words…love…friends….and others around to lightly. How were they friends when you did not know many of their ‘real’ names, their contact info. other than their thoughts on the internet. That is not a friend.

  23. Roni in love

    It amazes me that women would think they will find love on a trip is quite naïve and disturbing. This is a poor country, granted their are good people and bad people everywhere, but given the opportunity to improve their life and those of their family, many will do what they can to achieve that goal.
    Why would you assume an African man half your age would really want you, when those your race do not. Are you fooling yourself?
    If you were dating or prepared to marry someone of your own socioeconomic status would you not know his family, family, etc. Many of you barely know these men and are seldom introduce to family/friends.
    Why do you give them money? That is something I cannot get my head around.
    I am now dating a Gambian man. We have been friends for 5 years, finally after this five years, we have taken the next step and have started REALLY getting to know each other and date. This man has his green card and returns home for a couple of months each year. THIS IS A GREAT GUY! ..a good Muslim.
    It is not far to say that all Gambian are no good….like the thinking of so many Caucasians that Black Americans are no good. You are no saints. Every race has its problems and good/bad people. Plus, I feel most of you are old enough to know better. What were your intention over there? Vacation? or sex? Why would you give someone you barely know money? desperation? In some cases both parties are to blame. Do not put yourself out there as a victim, when some of you are not.

    • Kim Sow

      Of course not all Gambian men are bad but it is important that people are aware of the frauds. e.g. not all Romanian Gypsies are bad but they are some groups particularly skilled at Pick Pocketing so be knowledgeable and take appropriate steps. In the USA Government Security alert has assessed relationship frauds as ‘rampant’ in this area using fake documentation take heed. Understand how the scams operate, understand what is particular about the Gambia that leads to these frauds e.g. why do we see far less of them happening in Kenya!! So clearly not a colour issue as both are sex trade destinations, both have poverty and lack of opportunity.Question – How do you know your guy is not married? Have you any tips to share how you were able to check him out? Good Muslim men can have up to 4 wives?. Please do not make the biggest mistake marrying in the Gambia. There is no such thing as a Civil Marriage when you marry you sign up for Polygamy as it is goverened by Muslim Law.

    • Binthere2

      If he is as you say, A Good Muslim he can not have a sexual relationship with you outside of marriage ! !

      • julie smith

        Well that will please him, he doesn’t want sex with someone double his age, he wants the money they all get given !!

        • Justine

          Julie, that is what I thought but I found out that a guy I know who’s been married to his wife who’s at least 30 years older than him and has used her for money and cheated on her for 10 years, actually asked her to email pics of herself spread-eagled across a bed – say no more – a most vile sight – and his comments to these pics was graphic and crude. He always claimed that he never touches her as she is an old woman but he was already getting money from her as she is a soft touch and delusional . My point is that he didn’t have to get her to do this so maybe he just gets off on old women . Gross!!!!!!

    • mary

      good response.

  24. Kim Sow

    Spoke to the Gambian Embassy in the UK today and we chewed the cud about marriages in Gambia. Clearly the process as it is leaves people wide open to fraud. We both agreed that the only way around this is to get an Affidavit before you marry outlining the spouses marital status and putting in writing that it is a Monogomous not a Polygamous union. Might not work 100% but if you have a piece of paper it is more likely that you can prove fraud if later down the line they are found to be married.

    • mary

      that is a really good idea to avoid being multiple wife

  25. claire

    My mother is currently with a gambian man hes living in England with her. They have been together for around 6 years now. This article proves to me that he is conning my mum and everything that you have stated is completly true. So many stories hes come out with all require money for example malaria, rice money, children’s education, sisters child burning her legs, brother trying to get to England illegally and getting stopped and arrested and apparently would be shot if a certain amount of money is received, visa money stollen by criminals. The list goes on but yet my mum still things he’s genuine. Me and my mum have fallen out over this and haven’t spoken for over a year now but I couldn’t take it anymore. I told my mum what I think hes doing and why and she has decided to have nothing to do with me. Ive been there for her through everything helped her even tookout loans to help her get him over her which was subsequently stollen by the so called criminals. Shes believes everything he says and trusts him. When they was married in Gambia which I witnessed. His so called sister was very upset and often disappeared with her child. I think his sister is actually his wife and that’s his child and his so called sister it obviously upset because shes having to witness her husband marry someone else. Also when trying to get into England he filled out paperwork about him self and it said he had a child but hes told us he doesn’t have a child but his so call solicitor told him to put down he has a child as it would help him get into England! Why would a solicitor tell you to lie on a very important document!? They wouldn’t! Obviously he has a child and put it down so he dosnt get caught out. But he told my mum that his solicitor advised him to. And shes obviously believed him. There’s so much other stuff I could say thats happened but youd be her all day reading this. I just wanted to let people know whats happening and what to look out for. And what these mean are willing to go through just to get money

    • Kim Sow

      Yes what you say is all too familiar but there are things you can do. Firstly put this information on the gov allegations management system and this info will go on his file and mark it should he want Citizenship or to bring her over. Secondly go to http://www.immigrationmarriagefrauduk.com – get her to join and there is a Risk Assessment for relationships. Understand that your mother has been Groomed. Read – Out of the Fog Grooming (just put the words into Google). Get her to look at ‘Love Fraud’. Get her to watch the program tonight on Channel 5 – Holiday Love Rats Exposed it is the first of three. My story is very similar to your mothers and I am happy to speak to her as I am Co Leader of Immigration Marriage Fraud UK I see hundreds of identical stories from the Gambia. What you need to be doing is to get some proof that he is married. There is a Private Detective Agency in Gambia called – Honey Trap (not used it). Bigamy is a crime and therefore at the moment a Police matter (which we are campaigning about what we want is a specialist unit – like the Forced Marriage Unit a colaboration of Police, Home Office and Foriegn Office. We are getting some arrests at the moment so are being successful. Please let us know where your mother lives in the country as we may have links to the Police Force.

      • Justine

        Well done Kim. Watched the programme tonight. Your story was gut-wrenching, as were the other two stories. I felt for all 3 women, none were stupid, just all were good people.

      • claire

        Thank you for all the information you have given me. Unfortunately I cannot get my mother to do any of the things you’ve recommended me as we are not speaking to each other she has disowned me. But the private detective im definitely looking into. Although the only details I have of him are his name which seems to be a common name. Also turns out he hasn’t yet got his full citizenship visa yet and think thats why he hasn’t left my mother yet as he still needs her for things like this. My mother live in South Yorkshire. Im going through hell at the moment as my grandparents are putting pressure on me to believe his story as they believe he’s genuine and are on my mums side. There telling me im upsetting my mother because of what I believe and im tearing the family apart. Which then make me doubt myself but after all the stories and all the money I cannot see how he can be genuine.

        • Kim Sow

          Claire – I hope you have got her to watch Holiday Love Rats Exposed. It went out on Channel 5 on Thursday and is available on demand. I was also on This Morning on Thursday. You are doing the right thing getting a private detective. From what you say she is being Groomed. Check out Out of the Fog Grooming – put the wordsinto Google. She will not see it when she is in it…………believe you me…I didn’t and defended my husband to the hilt! Do not blame her. As humans we are hard wired to trust, to respond to words of love. If we didn’t the human race would die out!!!! Unfortunately we need to prove a crime to stop this e.g. that he is already married, What you and I don’t know is what information already exists at the home office. Usually fraudsters make several attempts to get into the UK. Practice makes perfect. So get your allegation into the Home Office. John Vine the Independent Chief Inspector of Immigration and Borders (now resigned) made far reaching recommendations in his Nationality Casework report including checks on character. Your info is vital to stop him from obtaining the end game of Citizenship.

          • Rebecca Claire Wynne

            Hi Kim it’s been a while since we last spoke but my mother has finaly seen the light and her Gambia husband has left her. She now sees what he really is. I told her about you and that you gave me some advice. She was wondering if she could get in touch with you somehow. Would this be possible?

            Thank you
            Claire

        • Kim Sow

          Claire… can I also mention that all of my family and friends thought he was wonderful and fully supported our relationship. He conned the GRO, UKBA, friends, family. Facebook is the key. Explore all the connections he has. Remember that the Gambia is a very small place. Population 1.8 million i.e 900, 000 men, 50% under the age of 25…………………450,000 max. Take out the older population what are you down to ………..200,000 i.e. 4 small towns in the UK…..bottom line is that he will be known and easy to trace………….

          • claire

            I saw you on this morning and you inspired me to write what is happening on this website. Im sure my mother saw it to but she most likely though this isnt happening to me as shes in denial and like you say shes defending him to the hilt. Ive noticed he has 2 Facebook accounts both say he lives in London which he doesn’t. Ive looked through his friends list too.thank you so much for all the information you have given me. Its also a relief that im not the only one going through this and im not going crazy. Lol.

          • Kim Sow

            You are not crazy Claire. If you start to read about ‘Gas Lighting’ you will know that you ae being made to feel this by proxy! If you check out Wikileaks – Dakar Fraud report you will know that this kind of fraud is’ rampan’t in the area. Not a small issue, not a significant but RAMPANT. The Americans deal with it by DNA testing of family members ……………the UK does nothing!!!!!

  26. Justine

    Many many stories they tell. Example 1: Getting caught with weed and needing £200 bail money. When that didn’t work, I got told that his “mate” bailed him out and now he owes the mate the money and that the “mate” has his car as a guarantee and if he doesn’t pay the mate, he will lose the car!!! Example 2: the tax man came into his shop and demanded £200 for the yearly tax or would close the shop!!! His English , much older wife who lives in the UK always caves in as it is the only way she can keep him, totally delusional. She defends him to the end and yet knows he is a liar and a thief. He married her for visa years ago and will never let her go as she has funded his whole sorry lifestyle. Yes, will watch Holiday Love Rats Exposed on Channel 5 tonight as there are bound to be a few Gambians on there but will people learn? No, because their man is Different.

  27. Lamin

    I’ve been obviously reading a lot of post here and I didn’t really wanna write anything but I decided that to. I’m a Gambian living in United States for about 2 years now. I have a computer science degree from Gambia and make efforts to move to the US without anyone’s help. So don’t really blame the men doing this in my country but I’d rather blame the tourist who thinks they can find love with boys and girls That are twice their age.

    The reality is that I lived in Gambia nearly my entire life and 99% of the tourist who involve in a relationship does not involve with responsible men and women of the citizenry. Instead they mess with people on the getto, prostitutes and unless men idling on the beach and night clubs calling themselves Bumpstars. Majority of these people don’t have anything going in their lives. So knowing the person you’re are about to take a life long journey with, knowing him should be the basic foundation.

    Honestly I’ve seen one in every hundred tourist who gets involved with a responsible person in the country. First of all, Gambia is not an Islamic State and we have all kinds of religions even though the majority are Muslims. So there are basic things you need to know. A good Muslim doesn’t lie neither drink alcohol and even though polygamy is legal in Islam it is practiced by about 35% of the population.

    Finally, let’s stop shifting blames to every Gambian because of the act of the minority. Responsible and educated Gambians will never perish themselves in such unethical relationships. My advice, know the people you’re getting involved with don’t be desperate falling into the wrong trap. I’m working on a blog that entails issues on tourists and fake marriages and how to avoid them in Gambia. I’ll share the blog once I’m done on the writings..
    I can be contacted on laminmanka@gmail.com if anyone has a personal question and I’ll be glad to give you enough information.

    • Kim Sow

      Would love to make links. I agree with what you have said. It’s like Romania. Many hard working honest people but there is a sub culture of Romanian Gypsies many of whom are criminals. Therefore that problem needs to be addressed not the country.Sorry if I implied that all Gambians are fraudsters…..what I can say however is that most Immigration Marriage Fraudsters usually have a wife hidden away.The scam is called ‘The Game’ and it is about obtaining citizenship, your assets and ultimately to bring the family into the UK.
      Kim

    • Binthere2

      Sorry to disagree but so called responsible and educated gambling and are no different at all.

  28. Julie Smith

    I watched the programme and still can’t believe that mature women do this, why would people go to a country and marry someone who is really a stranger, they know nothing about these men. If people are so lonely go on a dating site in the UK. If they met someone from their own country would they marry them after seeing them a few times ? would they give them money ? would they pay for their family’s medical bills ? No they wouldn’t so why do they do it with strangers ?? If they want to get rid of all their money give it to charity !! Do they not think wow iv’e been here 1 hour and 10 men have already come on to me ! at home would men 20/30 years younger than them want them ? No get a life and think of your family’s who you will end up losing over some lying money grabbing, visa wanting stranger who will dump you as soon as he gets what he can from you.

    • Kim Sow

      If you watched the program you would know that I met him in the UK. I saw him daily for a year and then married him having checked out everything I could, Dee had a several year courtship, Julie also did not fall into that camp. They on the surface were not strangers when we married but underneath they were like aliens from out of space. This is why we told our stories because actually it could happen to anyone. What you don’t see is the stories of men and women of all races and sexual orientation and all professions being scammed. Meeting their spouses abroad, online or in the UK………or even on a holiday in Europe because they have to much to lose career wise. I think there is somethings about the British that makes us more vulnerable 1) We live in a multicultural society 2) We have been educated to not steriotype and be PC. 3) Our early moral stories in our fairy tales end – and then they live happiy ever after!!!! Infering one wife not 2,3 or 4!

      Yes there are some men and women who have left their brains behind at the airport but it takes a very strong person to say I will not pay the medical bills for a chlld who has drunk bleach from a bottle thinking it is water………I did but actually it was a scam…………

      • Julie Smith

        You say it could happen to anyone, you need to stop saying this cause it doesn’t, it happens to gullable people who at their age should know better. It would never happen to me, wouldn’t meet a man over here and after 2 weeks give him all my money, what little I do have would not be thrown away I’m not that desperate. ” we live in a multicultural society ” so that means we have no brains and give our money to young men ?? doesn’t make sense. ” we have been educated to not stereotype and be PC ” so we go off with young men and give them our money ?? doesn’t make sense. ” our early moral stories in our fairy tales bla bla ” I knew fairy tales didn’t exist after the age of 6, doesn’t make sense !! you all need to grow up, stop believing in fairy tales and either give all your money to charity or give it to me, I could use it a lot wiser !!

        • Justine

          I admire Kim. Julie – you obviously have not listened properly to what Kim has said, both here and on the programme. How many more times? She did not meet this man on holiday – she met him in the UK like women meet men every day, no huge age gap, just a normal-seeming relationship. Why come down so hard on her – she’s not an idiot. Would you be so hard on a woman who married an ENGLISH, WHITE lying bigamist???? I bet you would not.

          • Julie Smith

            Coming the race card now !! I don’t care what colour anyone is and yes if I knew a woman who was dating a WHITE ENGLISH man and he was taking her money, lying to her , cheating on her I would say the same so that clears that up.

        • caz

          so Julie you have never been in love and made any bad judgments it seems and no they not all the same

          • Kim Sow

            Like most I believed that these frauds could only happen to gulliable people but I know know this absolutely not to be true. My perception was based on the media stories and how they were presented. I deal with victims all day long it does not matter what race, gender, sexual orientation, age, profession,whether you meet online, in the UK, through business or on holiday. It does not matter how long you have known them before hand – 6 months or 10 years. If someone has an intent to defraud they will. They will use techniques such as ‘sarging’, love bombing, grooming, gaslighting, fake ID’s. fake documentation, fake CV’s. Of course there are target groups – the old and disabled are a very big target because they have a fast track immigration process – they do not have to reach the financial target of £18,600. Of course there are men and women who have left their brains behind at the airport and of course the media just loves these stories for titivation and so skewed you would not believe. Take my case – I was 50 when I met my husband in the UK who was 44 (actually our age difference is under 6 years) how is the media reporting – Grandma duped by Toyboy African lover….Ha Ha (not a Grandma and he was not a Toyboy).When the headline should have been more like Bigamist Fraudster cons his wife, Home Office and GRO and obtains citizenship. So be careful what you think is going on because you are only basing this on the media. Do you really think that Canada would change the law because a few menopausal women started to cry! No they did it because they recognised that fraudsters were getting into their country and involved in other crimes of fraud and started deporting and tightening up immigration checks. Because………….they are fraudsters!!!!!!!

          • caz

            yes kim I know it does happen all I am saying is not all should be judged the same that’s all and all cannot be blamed on women being stupid. Also its always about the Gambian men what about the English women that do go to Gambia purely for the young men and I know from first hand experience of speaking to some of these older women at night clubs who openly told me that is what they do

          • Kim Sow

            Totally agree it’s just like Bankok and Kenya. What is very interesting though is if you take Kenya – a place very similar to Gambia, poor, sex trade destination, poverty of opportunity why are more Immigration Marriage Frauds coming from Gambia? Not one case coming from Kenya this last year (although there has been one financial fraud) yet hundreds from the Gambia. It is without doubt a hot spot and people need to be warned. The American Foriegn Office describe relationship fraud in Gambia and Senegal as ‘Rampant’.We need to get the message out – how the scam works, what to look out for, what the fraudsters are looking for, explain what factors in the culture make it more likely, how easy it is to get fake docs, how to check out your partner etc. This is not saying that all Gambians are bad and all women going to the Gambia are just looking for sex this is about looking at the reality and protecting yourself through education and getting people to engage brain before taking this life changing path. Like we know that most Romanian Gypsies are brought up to be pick pockets and they are very good at it and If you were invited to dinner with a cannibal – check out what is on the menu first! The stories in the media are very important so that people can relate to them but if the media keeps skewing them for titivation the warning message is not read and people think it cannot happen to them….well it can.

          • julie smith

            Yes I have made bad judgments about men when I was young, but none took money off me even when I was young I would have known if I was being conned, love doesn’t cost money, and I am not just on about the women in the programme I am on about the thousands of women who go abroad and meet someone and in 3 days say yes I will marry you, 2 months later go back marry him, spend thousands on him, get him a visa only to be really surprised when he runs off !!! I just don’t get how people ( men and women ) think they can go abroad, meet someone half their age and believe they are in love and get rid of all their money on what is in essence a stranger, it’s crazy and to be honest they get what they deserve, friends try warn them and they don’t listen. I speak about this first hand all this has happened to a friend, I tried warning her in as nice a way as possible, she went off her head at me, she’s spent £1000s on him, he’s now marrying his Gambian girl friend and is open about it, iv’e seen it in black and white, I showed her and she still doesn’t believe it, well when she’s broke because she will be she has nothing to start with, she sold her house to get the money for him she will come crying, but I don’t have money to give her, on her head be it !!!!

  29. Janamaly

    Hello I am a french woman living in Uk marrying in Gambia to a gambian man; he keeps cheating, having girlfriends, and threatening on me with his friends and family. He needs a visa but I refuse to let him using my passport to apply a EEA visa. I hide all my documents before He used to search when I am not home. I need some advice and help please. Thank you.

    • Kim Sow

      Divorce…….it is unlikely to get better and probably will get worse. Which would be the same comment if he was white, pink with blue spots or lime green from Mars. Go for councelling and start reading – Out of the Fog – Grooming (put into Google) and http://www.lovefraud

    • Justine

      KEEPS cheating.???? . he should have been kicked to the kerb on Day 1 of cheating. Men only get away with what we ALLOW them to get away with. Be strong. What kind of marriage where you have to hide documents. Listen to Kim Sow…. get your pride back and your self respect and self esteem as you can do better. Good luck.

  30. julie smith

    Janamly are you for real ? you need advice ? oh let me see he sounds a wonderful future husband you really need to stick with this 1. If you need advice on a site like this you know the answer and stop being so stupid.

  31. caz

    There is good and bad in all nationalities I am married to a Gambian man who I have been with for 3 years and I can say that my husband works very hard both in the home and out he is very loving to myself and my family and if my family need anything then nothing is too much trouble for him.
    I do get annoyed when all people are classed as the same due to nationality or religion.

  32. Justine

    Patricia. I feel sorry that you have gone through this BUT don’t let him win by putting yourself down. Try a different mindset and instead of saying you’re Stupid and your life is ruined and you will never recover – stop beating YOURSELF up – it’s DONE, cant be undone but it IS a lesson learnt and you WILL recover and will be stronger but that has to come from YOU> Good luck!!!

    • Patricia sarr

      Thank you Justine. I know you are right . Sadly I just don’t have any energy left. He is now going back to see his children and family for at least 3 weeks at a time every 5-6 months. The house I contributed to ( yes I did ,,,,,,,,,,, ) he won’t let me have any pictures of . He has stopped me from being a friend on facebook , has 2 phones which are always on silent I could go on and on. I BEG anyone who is thinking of being with a Gambian to contact me on this site. They can be very dangerous men who lie and cheat . The Police and my family are really worried about me and are convinced he will kill me. He says everything is my fault and I provoke him and that’s why he gets so angry .I’m trapped – i don’t want you to end up like me – I have even thought about jumping in front of a train a lot lately saying to myself only the first bit would hurt . My family stop me .

  33. Dr Steven

    I am Mrs Beson Sophia, from New York i want to use this

    medium to congratulate Dr Cely, for the

    great help of spell he has render to my relationship

    outbreak. since the past 6 years i was in a

    relationship problem with my ex, he always get me

    beating, i never knew he has another girl outside the town, her

    name is Michel, until i got this great spell caster

    email address from the internet, so i email him and i

    laid all my complain to him, he promise me that i am

    to keep off away from him, and i really agreed on it,

    but on a condition that my lost ex will be back,,,, he really put some few

    items which he uses to

    consulting his great oracle, his plan for my

    relationship was fulfill and my lost ex was back

    again within 48hrs… please if you are in such mess

    today please

    contact him at okocelyn102@yahoo.com

    • julie smith

      Dr Steven what are you on about ??

  34. Mrs Beson Sophia

    I am Mrs Beson Sophia, from New York i want to use this
    medium to congratulate Dr Cely, for the
    great help of spell he has render to my relationship
    outbreak. since the past 6 years i was in a
    relationship problem with my ex, he always get me
    beating, i never knew he has another girl outside the town, her
    name is Michel, until i got this great spell caster
    email address from the internet, so i email him and i
    laid all my complain to him, he promise me that i am
    to keep off away from him, and i really agreed on it,
    but on a condition that my lost ex will be back,,,, he really put some few
    items which he uses to
    consulting his great oracle, his plan for my
    relationship was fulfill and my lost ex was back
    again within 48hrs… please if you are in such mess
    today please
    contact him at okocelyn102@yahoo.com

  35. Mari

    I have a baby with african gambian he never Support me of my maternity when my baby is worn he tald me he love me and he wanna get married with me Cuz I put my baby as Single mum doesn’t have his father surname, my baby’s father been on Army he tald me have visa from army but the visa is gonna be end now he said he have a British passport I don’t belive. WHEN I found all this Shit he’s disappear now he doesn’t help me 4 my baby girl and he see a English British woman. …not all African Gambian is the Same but this one is the best rubbish liar player dirty man I never meet on my life …. If anyone want to reply this is my email : mariocnarvi_18@hotmail.com

  36. Carolyn .L. Martinez1

    May be someone out there knows what i am talking about and know how its like to be invisible mostly by the one person you are in love with. I was in love an unhappy married man.His marriage was going to limbo and i was the only one there for him. He only saw me as a friend but he was more than that to me. I wish i had the heart to tell him before the went ahead and got married then, may be he would never had be unhappy and may be we both would have been together. Yeah it turned out i was too much or a chicken. Though we are together now literally because of the spell Metodo Acamu a very powerful spell caster i must say helped me cast to make him love me just as i loved him. A lot of people may have different opinion as to if what is did is wrong or right but really, it do not matter because he was in pain and his life was falling to pieces and i was his friend who was in love with him. I knew he was going to be happy with me and he is now. For the first time in three years i have he really happy i mean he tells me every time how free he feels . We are perfect together and i know we are always going to be like this. This would not be the case if not for the spell Metodo Acamu helped me cast. All that was required of me were just the materials that was going to be used to prepare the spell and note Metodo Acamu does not do spells for money i wish i knew why but i do not. He told me that i should get the materials needed for the spell preparing he told me to get them myself and if i can’t find the materials all i had to do was send the total cost for it so he can help me. It wasn’t easy to get them but i found them but it took a lot form me i would advice against getting them yourself because there are not only hard to but also difficult to mail believe me. I am only writing this short article for those out there with problems similar to the one i had. If you want to contact him use this email its what i used metodoacamufortressx@(yahoo). com rewrite this email in the usual email standard form for use^

  37. Aggie Ellstrom

    We all have different reasons why those of us who contacted Obudun Magonata to help us make our faithful to us some of us did it for lover, because of their children or health condition or even because they wanted not to be alone. For me it was non of those though i love my husband and don’t want to raise our teens alone . The reason why i contacted Obudun Magonata to help me with a spell truly was because my husband was running for one of the seats in the Riksdag,the national legislative body of Sweden. Now i am not going to say if he won or under what party for security reasons i did not ask for a spell to make him win or something NO i just asked for a spell to make him stop being a chronic Womanizer it was going to affect his campaign. I have lived with him for 20 years and after countless occasions of catching him cheating on me i have come to live with him like that though it hurts to death. I wish i knew all along all those years about Obudun the Great spell caster maybe my life would not have been this way. Like i was saying, His womanizing behavior got him into a lot of trouble and if any of those stories where to hit the press it would have destroyed his life and this political career and probably landed him in jail. With all the advise from me and his advisories of his campaigning team it was still not enough to bring him to caution. I went to the extreme to make sure he stops willingly or unwillingly that is i meant with some of his lover and asked to pay them off but they were not ready to let go it. I think he offered them something more that money that even with the amount i offered them, they all refused and believe me it was very surprising and they will turn down a large amount of money. We my husband got to know about it he mad mad at me and gave all sort of threats. I was confused and his opposition were digging to find dirt on him and still was so convinced that they will not find anything but they did only with no evidence that was how lucky we were. Right then i took matters in my hand and contacted Obudun Magonata with the email address i saw on the internet i contacted him and told him what i want him to do for me to make my husband be faithful to me till our dying day and make all those people looking for how to bring down my husband stop. OK note my husband is a very honest man who would not hurt a fly he was just careless and always picked the wrong kinds of woman that get him in trouble. Obudun Magonata asked that i provide 4 kind of item me being so careful employed expert to help me get those materials mailed them over to him. I sent a total some of 3000 dollars when converting from Swedish Krona to American dollars. And it much much cheaper if i had asked him to get them for me. But whats done is done. Just after four day sent me a package, not telling its content but is totally harmless and told me how to make the spell effective. I did as he told me and in two my husband somehow magically broke tires with all the women he was involved with i don’t know how it happen and those people trying to kill his political ambition stopped immediately. I wish i knew this Great man all along my life would have been perfect. His campaign team did not understand how i did it and what i did they were just happy all the worse is past. What wow me the most about Obudun Magonata was that the told me the out come of the election before the election date last years because all this happened last year and just what he said will happen really came to pass. And again i can’t give full info because of security reasons. I little advise for those that are going to contact him via this email (spiritsofobudunmagonata@ (yahoo). com) rewrite to usual email format if you are asked for material to do the spell don’t go about it yourself Because you will waste a lot time and money on it and get to see asking him to get them for you with the total cost you wire to him will save you a lot. You have nothing be be afraid you can trust him with anything Because all he does is help people no matter how hard it may be.

  38. laura

    weall I pass for those situation 6 years ago in a chat but I always ask my self why this movie star put their eyes one mexican no really preatty. of course tje answer coming soon. one said he is very very rich but he forget his wallet in us, other he no trust in his family only in me need money too. but thanks God give me brain and I lough with this and cut all of them.

  39. Fellata

    The only legitimation and justification on the part of senegambian men for marrying white women is the financial gain involved. I am 40 and was born and raised in coastal gambia. I have witnessed how it became trendy for young gambian men to leave their rural villages to settle on the coast in the hope of finding a white woman. And because we are supposed to be muslims and godfearing, we have convinced ourselves that it is not a sin to cheat and steal from white people. Its just payback for slavery we tell ourselves. We are not what we tell people we are. The so called friendliness of gambians towards white people is fake.

  40. hanif

    You got it all right!

  41. J Saydee

    Yes reality is not all Gambian men are put for a vsa or to take all your money my husband is not gambian but african and lives there we have been together 4 years married this year weary of all men there being downed …women are as much responsible use your comom sense ladies first time I went took family with me and was very willong to take an outside point of view on my now husband ….outcome ? All good and we now martied ….I see the many many times I have been to gambia just as many Europeans both men and women taking advantage of women and men there and totally using them …reality is its a very poor country bit nor all Gambian men are out to take your wordly goods think and look it’s clear as mud who is genuine and who is not .

    • caz

      I totally agree my husband is Gambian and very very hardworking.

  42. julie smith

    Ooh how much must I send for this spell, I am so desperate to have a spell cast on a man I love who doesn’t love me and I want him to love me back, I will send as much as you ask for Carolyn. Omg we didn’t all get off the flight from Britain with our cash cards ready to be emptied by con men sorry but I bet even half of these easy to con people wouldn’t fall for that crap !!

  43. Rachel

    I am a 26 year old woman from the USA. Seems like these men find thier way around. I was scammed into marriage by a gambian man who entered the states using his brother’s identity (went by two or three different names) and he even lied about his age. We have one child together and he even put a false name on my child’s birth certificate. Funny, now I am near homeless, no health insurance, and no help from him. One night he attacked me when I tried to use his phone. I make just enough money to sponsor him but not enough for a lawyer to annul the marriagae. Anyone have any ideas on what I can do?

    • Avril

      Called the headquarters of immigration,and report him.and file for domestic violence charges for the assault…they will be glad to pick his ASS up and deport him.

    • julie smith

      So Rachel you married a man you knew nothing about, the more I hear and read about all this conning I just think people who marry someone they know nothing about and get conned so easy deserve every thing they get. You wouldn’t marry someone from your town you knew nothing about ??

  44. Kim Sow

    Hello everybody. I am from an Organisation called Immigration Marriage Fraud UK. We are a research, support and campaign group for men and women who have been scammed for immigration status and financial gain. Sadly we are seeing many cases involving Bigamy from the Gambia where the fraudster has hidden an existing wife. We are currently involved in some research on the issue with London City Police, Action Fraud and NIFB. If you are living in the UK and have found out your husband is already married please contact us at immigrationmarriagefrauduk (at)yahoo.co,uk

  45. paul

    hi, i have lived with my partner for 30 years, the last few years the relationship has detoriated. my partner spoke to some american on facebook and told my daughter and i she was moving to america, we checked him out found out he was a scammer we took her down to the police station and reported it to a special division and found out she had sent a lot of money to him. that ended, A gambian man then started chatting to her at the end of october 2014 she booked a flight over to gambia and arrived february 13th had a gambian wedding on the 14th and a legal wedding on the 16th feb 2015 at a registery office in gambia. my daughter and i knew nothing about this untill we got a phone call from my niece at midnight to say she had got married, we could not believe it. my partner came back home on the20th feb 2015 and just said good morning.
    unfortunately she is still living at home with us as her name is on the mortgage, so i am in the process of buying her out. when she has the money she is moving to gambia to build a home and life out there. she has tryed to get him over here but she has to have a fulltime job and savings.
    she has converted to a muslim. learning the language and speaks to him daily and text all the time.
    we think he is a scammer waiting for her money, He will buy the land in his name build the house then treat her badly and then kick her out so his original gambian wife can live with him.

  46. Alhagie

    I am a gambian man live in UK and my wife is English just came back from gambia we all know that gambia is a poor country right in heavens name what should make you think that a young men would love u if u are old enough to be his grand parent let’s balance the ladder u are a European who go to gambia for young and fresh men u saw them that you are rich and got the money to spend at the first place u want to sleep with him u are the one who made the first attempt to use him because u know that if u don’t got the money he will not sleep with you how many European men slept with old woman for the shake of money
    My friend was use and dump by English girl who makes him believe that she love him she even made him to sold his own car after went the money finish she dump him and go for another man these are all over the world u can’t blame all the gambians am not judging any one but we have to be honest and tell the truth them ladies before to put them self in a relationship they have to think twice and wait to know that person first not to go for a only 2 weeks holiday and fall in love that’s funny it can even be possible but u need to think if he is the right man and look at the signs

    • Khaddy K.

      Well said….true words. am not a UK lady but white ….they make a bad view on all of us….. i feel ashamed. Thankfully am very happy with my gambian husband, since more then 5 years. To exspecially the UK Ladies, start behaving like a ladie, not like a desperate bitch…. when u visit beautiful gambia and his lovely ppls…..

  47. Mike Jabang

    I’m sorry this happened to you.
    I am a Gambian man and I know quite a lot of Gambians who are are faithful in their relationships.But You do not need to slam a whole race of Gambian men over the few bad apples you have dealt with. If I were to write something like this I would be slamming the entire White race for being dogs and assholes but I believe good people exist so keep your head up and keep searching.

    • crissy

      Hi , im a married german woman. i wish to contact you. Any questeions.

  48. Kim Sow

    We have to view it like Romania…lets be honest – there is a subculture in this country called Romanian Gypsies some of who are expert at pick pocketing for their own gain. Not racist that is the truth. Lets view it like the UK there is a sub culture that likes to have sex and get drunk every weekend. Lets view it like Syria there is a sub culture called ISIS that beheads people. So lets be real …there is a subculture in the Gambia intent on defrauding europeans through marriage and financial means. Not all women go to the Gambia for sex but many get scammed into believing it is a real relationship .when it is nothing more than a scam. I could slam the race and say 78% of women are genitally mutilated – which says more about the culture than the cases of a few bad apples. The Gambia has a lot of work to do regarding it’s male and female relationships – within the culture and outside of the culture. When as a culture they get things right perhaps they can see what some of them are doing to European women and their own!

    • motodbc

      That comment makes much more healthier sense than anything negative you can type against Gambian men. The few I know and have known are very respectful and the others that approach you are easily rebuffed.

  49. Khaddy K.

    Buts funny………….. all of u who’s blaming n crying here, will go back to Gambia looking for the next one.

  50. Al taw ta lleh

    I came to England through the the Help of 2 English couples 20 years ago. They sponsored me through my high school in The Gambia and through college in the UK.
    They were wonderful people who went to holiday in The Gambia every year. They have always had a great time and supported lots of charities.Reading all the above comments makes you feel sad, looking on both sides of the coin- however am sure you can still go to The Gambia to have a nice holiday, meet wonderful people some of whom you can have a nice time with and others you can help.For all the time I came to the UK, I never being with a white lady and i have being doing very well for myself and my wonderful Gambian wife who joined me 7 Years from the The Gambia. what is the reason for going to the Gambia?, is it for holiday or to find a young blood. That young blood will cost you money even in the UK. Show me a poor man who doesn’t want to better himself.

    • Vicki

      Thank you for putting a positive note on things for a change..!! I wish you and your wife a happy and healthy life 🙂

  51. Tom

    I know that everything here is about gambian man, but i have a question how about young gambian girls from 20 – 25 years old? has someone experience how things looks like with young women? any of the men once met a young girl with whom get hitched? are they also only depends on money, getting visa, and any frouds?

    • Kim Sow

      This year two men sought our help at Immigration Marriage Fraud UK because they found out that the wives they married also had husbands….!!!! Never marry in The Gambia because if fraud is found out later down the line you cannot get the UK Police to investigate.

      • Eileen

        I have been married to a Gambian man for five years. We married quickly( third visit to Gambia) as it is against his religion to be with me and not married. I am married under Islamic law! There is no need to marry ” justice wedding” . One of the reasons this is requested is to obtain a visa more easily. My husband has never been to England. After five years I now live in The Gambia…. No I don’t have lots of money! We rent a compound. We share the cost of cash power and water… He buys more food than I do. He is fifteen years younger than me. I am 53. When I was 45 I went out with a 25 yr old English man!!!!( he thought I was 35, I thought he was 30!). I left my English husband ten years ago before I lost everything to his gambling addiction( which his family knew all about but didn’t let me in on the secret!) I have brought up my child single handed since she was 6yrs old…. She has a first degree and is now a teacher….. Just thought I would try to add a little balance to this thread…..yes, you have to be careful in all relationships…know what you are doing and why!

        • Kim Sow

          So good to hear your positive story it is very good to balance it. Not all Gambians are fraudsters however it is a particular Hot Spot and I think you will agree men and women need to very careful – more so in the Gambia where the relationship can be tied up with getting immigration papers where as your relationship with your English husband wasn’t. So sorry though to hear your story. You must have gone through hell and back again.

          Sadly, day in and day out I am dealing with men and women who have found out that their husbands are already married and dealing with divorce situations where they are claiming assets. Horrible business.

        • Vicki

          Hi Eileen, I am very interested in how you managed to move to Gambia. I am Canadian, and just married in November 2015 in Gambia to a Gambian. I am going to start paperwork soon to have him live in Canada. However, he has asked me many times to live in Gambia. To be honest, I can’t stand the heat. However, I am still considering it,
          I am very curious about the procedure to move to Gambia, and is there is any health care available to us, the spouses. Someone told me that it only cost’s us $5.00 to see a doctor..?
          I am diabetic, and have some issues with arthritis, depression and migraines. Although my arthritis, depression and migraines were so much better in Gambia.
          You mentioned that you are from England, so the weather there is basically the same as it is here in Victoria, BC Canada. How do you manage with the heat and mosquitos, if I may ask..?
          I would love to hear from you, please.

          Vicki

  52. Mr Naeem Patel

    Hi. I have a lot health ailments I have been researching about cures on the Internet and I have found that I need a medicine man from Gambia or Africa. Do you know of any medicine man? Or do u know somebody in Gambia who knows of a good medicine man?
    Please contact me if you can help me.
    Your help will b much appreciated as I am going through a very rough time Thanks

    • Amadou Darboe

      ok,am sorry for the sickness,contact me if you need help i can refer you to someone ,,,,

  53. Paul

    I think you have to realise there are big cultural differences and what I call the “Toubab effect”, that is a process and you will meet the takers/bumpsters 1st always. Get through that or go outside to the country and Gambians are VERY DIFFERENT.

    In the main towns and tourist areas there are those hunting for the fresh meat, male and female, but outside of those areas Gambians are very different and even the poorest will share their last food with you and ask for nothing.

    But even so culturally, religiously and legally Gambians can have up to four wives and yes even with the good Gambians a toubab is a catch, but the cultural nuances and expectations can be very different.

    To a Gambian who lives on £1 a day, (even Gov ministers only get £1,500 a month) toubabs are like multi millionaires, so you have to think like one when you 1st come here. Gambians tend to think for the day for survival and it is tough for them, Some make a living out of bumbstering the toubabs, but that is not most Gambians.

    When your in even as good relationship remember the family member with the most is culturally expected to support the rest of the family, that could be 10-15 people, Gambians all still have their extended family and you cannot just have a relationship with one person.

    Having lived in the Gambia for two years doing development work, I have seen it all. The good the bad and the misunderstandings. I love the people and the country. (I remain single and that’s despite the offers I have not had any.)

    But though the majority of Gambians are very poor, non will take offence at the words NO I AM SORRY. As I say it is a process and it helps to have a guide through the toubab pitfalls.

    It is a shame that the tourist areas have the reputation they do, they are not Gambia or the real Gambians.

    Lots of women come here for the sex and the boys on the beach are happy to oblige, but do not expect an honest relationship, You get them and you give them money and they will give you excuses, some will be true others wont. You will get a particular character who will take what you give them. I see the old women with the young boys and even the majority of Gambians frown at it. But that is NOT REAL GAMBIA.

    I still get chased in the tourist areas, but I know how to deal with it now. I get Gambians on FB who dump me when they find out I live here and I know how to assess them if they just want money, or those that are genuine. But i also know many Gambians who I consider great REAL friends and ask nothing.

    There is an expression here, TIA, “This is Africa”, it is very different, understand it and it will understand you.

    As a Brit ex pat, I am happy to advise on how to avoid the toubab effect, in what ever area: ( its a small country but is like a big family) so checking prospective spouses, who to use to see the country, the real cost of things or even volunteering or genuine things to help with funding. i setup a multi sector development charity foundation/ngo here so really know my way arround.

    For the genuine visitor for a few $/£/Euros (£50/60ish/month £20/wk) you can have a great discrete honest guide, protector & negotiator full time to look after you, but that requires a contact or you will enjoy the toubab effect gauntlet, “normaly 2 to 3 times the price of everything!”

    Gambia can change you and your life, its all heart if you understand what to avoid.

  54. Amadou Darboe

    European old,sick,delapidated women and men thought we are fools ,but they are the fools ,they came for interest and we saw them ,they where here about 400 years back what have they left for us ,only unGodlyness, prostitution, indecent life,,,,please we have better culture and people than them… For UK they are the worse ,look all over the world where they colonized ,they have done nothing for the people they enslaved.
    i hate to be with a white lady because they are not clean and do all kind of sex life….shame

    • julie smith

      Amadou I would not like to be with a black man you are all dirty and do sex with anyone for money, prostitution is what it is, I wouldn’t want to catch some dirty disease !!

  55. Sarah wicks

    Just wondering if someone can give me some advice I’ve been with a Gambian man for 2 yrs now he’s been in uk for 4 yrs he brought his daughter over here to live with me and my 2 children but on his left hand he has a silver wedding band and I’ve asked him if he’s married to his daughter mum that’s in Gambia but his answer is no and if he was he would of brought her over with his daughter he goes bk once a yr to visit his family so he says me and him have split up loads of times because of my doubt of if he’s telling me the truth or lieing I’ve been really hurt in my past which he knows all about I would love to know if there is away of finding out if he’s married but don’t know how to go about it any advice would be great full

    • Mari

      Hi yes is married and he’s lying to you …my babies father have the same ring he’s use all the time and said to me is a special ring … And off Course I’m not trust him

    • Kim Sow

      Contact us at http://www.immigrationmarriagefraudUK.com and we can help you. Hold onto that feeling……..you are feeling an untruth and he is making no attempt to disprove. He could provide you with her birth certificate which would name the mother and from there you could check out with divorce certificates which you need to obtain because it is very easy to get fake ones. What is his immigration status? You would be surprised the numbers that hold out till Citizenship is obtained and then disappear and suddenly as a British Citizen turn up with their real wife. I got caught so I know what I am talking about hence we we set up the support, research and campaign group. I felt secrets throughout my married life but it was like I went to grab them but when I opened my hands there was nothing there…….but there was big time……… and now he is arrested! It was a scam with a name – it is called ‘The Game’. One victim met her husband in the UK and fell pregnant, then found out he had a Gambian wife with 4 children and then found out that he had married another in the UK in a Nikah ceremony and had sired two other children!!!!

    • Justine

      How long does he go to Gambia for and why doesn’t he take you? Say that you want to go and if he objects, there may be a problem. Remember, if he is muslim, they are allowed several wives but the wifes have to know about eachother. Good luck.

  56. latoya

    I am glad to have found your blog. My organization, International Wives of African Men, gears to bring together women married to nor dating African men. Hoping to speak with you soon about these experiences and how best to help women in these situations.

  57. Tina

    My husband is 45 from Gambia I am 41 from Michigan. We’ve been married 3yrs. All this stuff I read is crazy. I met my husband here in Dallas 2yrs after I moved here. He has always treated me with the upmost respect. Very loyal and faithful husband. He CHOOSES to have only one wife. He was married before. He has one child from the marriage. They are no longer married. She remarried and lives in Sweden. Maybe I got blessed but this so called research is ridiculous.

    • Kim Sow

      Tina not all Gambians are fraudsters. That would be like saying all Romanians are which would be ridiculous however in Romania there is a sub culture of Romanian Gypsies who are expert at picking pockets! I can’t see any red flags in your story but maybe you should ask your husband whether there is any truth in what we say…..Ask him about the wheeze of being introduced to people as their sisters that turn out to be wives…ask him about ‘The Game’.It is a named fraud that the American’s were the first to identify and described as ‘Rampant’ in their government fraud reports.

      • carol williams

        Hi Kim ,i will ask him but when we got married at the registrar office he had a silver ring on his left hand ,i asked him before what was the ring for , he told me it was because all Muslims wear them , , we put the rings on the table in front of us ,and when , then i put the ring i gave him on the left hand, when finished outside he took it off and put the silver ring back on the left hand and mine on the right hand , now i read here some said the silver one is a wedding ring .is that right .

        • Paul

          if its a silver ring with a big lump its a prayer protection thing

          men do tend to wear silver for wedding though but Gambans are not the most strict observers

          it is also said that

          its the fact that we are the “right people”, we do everything from the right or we start with our right.
          we sleep on our right side
          we eat with our right hand
          we put our shoes on the right shoe first
          when you washing you start with the right hand/leg
          its the prophet’s way.

          • carol williams

            Hi, thank you for your reply , but it didnt have a big lump on it just a round ring ,i noticed he did not have it on when he sent me a photo of him , he told me he lost it , and still had the wedding ring on the right hand .

          • Kim Sow

            Sorry I have no idea. The Red Flags are usually more obvious e.g. he has not got immigration status and you have never seen divorce papers or of you have may not have checked them out, plus not really knowing anything about his past. Big age differences are a Red Flag and also if the spouse has low self esteem, maybe fatter than most, disabled (the reason for this is in the UK the immigration process is different and there is no financial threshold). The fraudsters share knowledge on who to target and the pick up lines to use so the patterns of courtship very similar and always they speak of love very early in the relationship and move to a quick marriage. Other signs are that they have carried out the ‘altruism test’ before marriage. First small bits of money are asked for, then it progresses to medical and school fees needed back in the Gambia or ‘help me build a compound’. If a target takes a breather and reflects that they are the ones financially paying for their lives together they can realise that this is a bad sign. The other test is the’trust trap’ when they talk about trust and that you need to trust them as they trust you.The UK sees about 400 cases a year – both men and women targets. The sophisticated fraudsters will go on as long as it takes to get citizenship and until they can take any financial assets you have in a divorce. This is becoming more common and victims are finding aide memoires in their spouses possessions. Emerson Vermaat an eminent dutch investigative journalist wrote a paper on the fraud. He found a website stating that there was a 23% chance of getting papers by targeting european women. The Gambia is interesting because they have combined immigration marriage fraud with a belief structure in African magic. They will go to the Marabout to get spells to help them to carry out the frauds. This is similar to Sakawa from Ghana (put the word into You Tube) this is a fusion of the Akan belief and online dating frauds. There is also a link with immigration marriage fraud and online dating scams. Often the victim finds them using dating site. Last week we had one case where the victim found out that not only was her husband married with a child but that he also had numerous aliases and was on 20 dating sites with false profiles. But we have to be clear I am not talking about all Gambians – I am talking about the fraudsters amongst the Gambians.

          • carol williams

            Hello paul ,can i message you privetly , i will give you his detail,s ..

          • jolliffe

            Sure Carol please do

          • carol williams

            Hi, iv sent you a message on the email you gave me hope you recieved it ok.

  58. buba jaiteh

    Look do not put all Gambian in one basket, you would not put all Americans in the same basket or other men from different countries. I am Gambian and I am appalled by your accusations. I got my A levels, my bachelors degree and my masters and I know many Gambian who have. False tales with false men…I had about old British grannies marrying young Gambian men, that is child molestation.

    • Angela Benn

      Child molestation omg all these men in TG are 32 for some strange reason, are all sleeping with every one so i don’t call it child molestation i call it perversion from both sides and they wonder why aids is rife in Africa. I would’nt put 1 foot back in that hell hole they call the smiling coast as a woman you can’t even go to the loo without these perverts following you YUK !!

      • Gloria

        They are just desperate to have a better life Angela and they use their seduction techniques to get a toubab to fall for them. There are some honest ones but usually they are liars and cheats with wives and kids who are all in on it for financial gain. If women don’t listen to advice from these blogs and web sites it’s their own fault. Usually they end up skint and get dumped for the next victim. It’s very corrupt!

  59. Buba Jaiteh

    No time for spell check, but you get the gist.. had=heard, Gambian should be Gambians,,, Please be aware of all men with endless needs and many promises. If you were to go Uk and find a man or woman who promises you the world and your natural instinct tells you different, don’t put everyone else in the same basket, be smart… Get rid of that person and move on… There are many fishes in the sea…

  60. Sai Mbye

    Well done Buba. I still cannot fathom how most of these women fail to see the real picture. My question is, are you going to The Gambia to enjoy the sun and sea or to secure hot-blooded men? I know a Swedish lady who is on her third Gambian husband. She is in her 60s and all these husbands are at least 20 years younger. She brought the two previous husbands to Sweden and they both left her after getting their papers. My family warned her but she’s given us a deaf ear. If you honestly believe a 20-30yr old would fall for a 50-60yr old, you are deluded. What is it with Gambian men that is so appealing? Is it the things they say to you? Is it the sex? Is it the idea of being with a much younger man? If they are so atrocious according to this thread, why even give them a time of day? If they are so appalling, why keep going back? Why are these women in such a rush to marry these men? I am genuinely curious. If someone is too keen and in such a haste to marry you, you need think rationally. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

    There are many Gambian men and women who are ambitious, kind, loyal, genuine and content.

    Someone mentioned here that the smiles Gambian give to tourists are fake smiles. That is a very unfair comment I must say. If I were to go by experience, I could make a negative generalisation about Brits but that would be biased.

    I am a Gambian woman living in the UK, got both my degree and masters and have a decent job.

    I would encourage tourists to not just stick around the beaches and Senegambia area when they do visit The Gambia. Most of these places are obviously hot spots for opportunists. Please bear in mind that 48% of Gambians live in poverty. “There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.” ― Mahatma Gandhi. May I add that there are also poor Gambians who strive to better themselves in humble ways.

    You will probably have a whole different perspective of The Gambia and her peole if you widened your horizon.

    • Justine

      So right, Sai. I have listened to these middle aged women who behave like they are 16 years old, coming back heartbroken after falling for some chancer who’s 30 years younger – the women even betray eachother and go off with their friend’s boyfriends and the guy is saying how the woman is a liar and not to listen to her. Each of these women think they are “different” – they are flattered and think they’re too clever to get conned – because of their ego’s they get conned bigtime. ALL kinds of women fall for these guys and why? They get the attention and feel special and want a project to save and help. I’ve met many guys in Gambia who never ever hit on me because they know from the start that I know the Game and plus the older tourists have more money, are lonely, divorced, widowed etc, so therefore fair game. Mix with the decent people and not the beach/tourist men and things are different. Why do standards drop so low when women are on holiday? They would never do that in their hometown. These guys are raking the money in with their sob stories and laughing. Holidays are holidays, not for being a cashpoint. And as for the guys – respect yourselves instead of marrying grave-dodgers and waiting for their pensions. Gambia got its independence but you wouldn’t think so.

  61. Gloria

    Hi Lisa, I had a similar experience and fell into the ‘honey trap’ but then watched the TV series Holiday Love Rats and got wise to the facts. However it was very difficult to disentangle myself, took about a year. They just move on and hit on the next unsuspecting woman as mine did. And then had the cheek to text me as well asking how I was ! Marriage proposal came after a few days and I’d love to now read your info on the chat up lines. Thsnks for posting this.

    • Hayley

      Hi Gloria, I’m sure my readers would love to know more-would you be willing to write a post about your experiences with advice for anyone who might be in a similar situation? If so drop me an email at hayley@lifeasabutterfly.com

      • Buba

        It is not a trap ladies it is survival. You have to understand that.

  62. Me

    I met my Gambian boyfriend who is a British citizen in the uk 13 years ago (I am British) he had been married 3 times before we met and I had 2 failed marriages. 3 years ago I discovered that on a trip back to Gambia he had married a Gambian woman but he has denied this using an unbelievable story, I know he married her but he completely denies it. I am stuck in this relationship because we have been together for so long although I now won’t let him touch me but we are like good friends as we have never argued in the time we’ve been together. I’m not sure how long this can last as I feel I can’t live without him which is just so wrong

    • Gloria

      That’s very sad but I guess you’re old and wise enough to realise that this leopard will never change its spots !!! I know what I would do !! Good luck for s better future (without him) 🙂

    • Kim Sow

      Sadly this is very common. This is why we set up Immigration Marriage Fraud UK to support victims.and give advice based on the cases we see. We kow live with Police Forces and the Home Affairs Select Committee to get this issue addressed and where they can be – prosecuted and deported.Contact us to. (Just put our name onto Google). We can also link you with women who have gone through exactly the same. .

  63. Mariama

    How dare u bash all gambian men just because u had an experience with one person nobody is forcing you to come to our country we was living peacefully before you mfs came and force us out of our country n turn us into working tools you white people are full of shit

    • claudia

      Hahaha, i never see some one more uselles than Gambians till now. The only think they now how to do is eat sleep and dans and spend .

  64. Mariama

    You guys come to our country claiming to help us but bash us on social media when we ask for help y’all wait until u beat up n no body wants ya then ya come for our strong young n healthy black men and trap them with ya beat up wrinkle vaginas give us hiv kill us with dreams n run ur asses back to ya country fools

  65. Mariama

    N only a fool will wanna marry a white woman

  66. Julie Smith

    Mariama you are 1 deluded nasty racist sexist fool. You Gambians are all over the white women like leaches, i had to litterally peel you all off me yuk. I see you all run to the coaches as soon as the whites arrive and you are stuck to them sucking up to them till they go home and the next coach load arrive. So don’t come the racist crap i personally would not touch any of you as you all sleep around and could have any number of sexual deseases but you don’t really rock my boat i prefer men that have some self respect. You are all married playing your little games, i saw through it all in 2 seconds sadly most are easy manipulated, why ? I really do not know. bye !!

  67. Linda Michelle

    GREETINGS everyone out there, My name is michelle knig. i will never forget the help Dr Iruwa rendered to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help on the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how Dr Iruwa help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of Dr Iruwa i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that he will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him. Your case is not too hard why don’t you give Dr Iruwa a try he work surprises because i know he will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using Dr Iruwa to save my marriage. People call Doctor Iruwa a nice man but i call him a God sent!Do you need help i will advice you to contact Dr with this information: website:www.superiorquickspellsolution.com Email: E-mail:iruwa567@gmail.com

  68. Mrs Sandra Barrow -Sowe

    I was used by my husband saiga sowe..he didn’t really want a wife .he was only interested in the visa .and earning money to send home and for friends..haven’t heard or seen him since.I’m taking legal action as I want all the money I spent on him .when my lawyer finds him .he has done a runner.

    • Gloria

      Good luck Sandra.

      • Justine

        Why waste even more of your money on legal action? You will never get it back in a million years, so see it as a lesson learnt. The money will be already spent.

        • ruqia adan

          That guy has a girl from Florida visiting him in February 2020 and they are getting married.

  69. Belle

    I’d say this is spot-on.

    My ex husband was Gambian, I was 17 when we met and he lied to me about his real name, age and country of origin. He was in his late 20’s but told me he was 18. I worked full time and he brainwashed me into thinking I owed *him* all of my income. He’d send it to his relatives (and other wife!). We had two children together and he has never once provided for them and after our divorce I found out he had been using my social security number to open credit cards and take out loans. I’m still paying these off.

    And yes…he prays five times a day and even dressed like an Imam (Islamic religious leader). Really backwards way of thinking.

    I understand poverty leads people to do crazy, desperate things. But the *entitlement* towards and complete and total *disrespect* for white women is *very* real. (I’m only half white, but he’d show me off to his friends like some kind of trophy and not even introduce me by name; just called me his “white wife” and tell me to hush when I’d clarify that I’m also Native American and live on my tribes’ reservation and that I have a name…).

    Of course it didn’t start out that way, he was perfectly charming and sweet when I met him. The mental abuse and financial exploitation was a slow and insidious process that began when I was pregnant with our first child.

    An uncomfortable number of the Gambian men I knew assumed all white people are rich, evil and deserving of being taken advantage of.

    Even after he took everything, robbed me blind, his relatives would call and ask me to send them money and get angry when I wouldn’t.

    I am very selective about which relatives my kids are exposed to on that side of their family because I don’t want them to be guilted and manipulated the same way. I don’t let them go to gambia and won’t until they are 18, and I will do everything I can to mentally prepare them for the poverty and the behaviors that go with it.

  70. Anadou

    I am a Gambian man living in the US. And yes I came here for better life like the millions of Europeans who came to settle here. Before you begin throwing those insults on Gambian men, perhaps ask yourself what those white women are doing there in the first place. If they were worth their salt, they should easily have been able to find s suitable partner in Europe instead of traveling all the way to an impoverished black African country. Between these bumsters and these older white women, none is deceiving the other . It’s a give and take, the bumster is dirt poor and needs help n better life whilst the white lady is looking for a younger handsome man she cannot get back in Europe.

  71. Gaynor

    I was married to a Gambian man for many years. Sadly he passed away in February of this year. We met in the UK so status was never an issue. Prior to our marriage he insisted on taking & showing me all of his many properties in the Gambia. He wanted me to understand that he wanted me for me & not for papers or money. During the entirety of our marriage his family placed him under an enormous amount of pressure for money yet he refused my many offers of financial help. He showed me his love for me every single day & I never had one minute of distrust. He taught me many lessons in life & made me a better person. Since his passing I have had the misfortune of experiencing his often remembered words “never trust a Gambian”. Certain family members stole money from him & extorted more from me. So, my husband was the best of Gambian men who warned “never trust a Gambian”

  72. Juliet truckle

    I was married to a gambian man for 10 years! I lost my business and home and am now fighting to get a British court order served and recognised in Gambia under the reciprocal arrangement act! This divorce court order gives me vacant possession of a villa I bought and paid for. This has been ongoing now for 5 years and 3 Gambian solicitors! My ex is living there now for 6 months of the year claiming to be a business man! Such a joke! The Gambian court finally recognised the order and served eviction papers only for him to get pro bono lawyer ( who works with all the judges) and has now got a stay!!! My lawyer now wants £5,000 to continue the fight even though no one has ever managed to get a british order converted or recognised on appeal. We really believed the new president would sort all this corruption within the court system! I am planning to go to The Gambia and move into the villa until this process is completed! I am involving the uk ambasador to The Gambia and my local m.p! This is a civil matter but it seems lots of Europeans are being taken advantage of by this reciprocal arrangement they signed up to! Hopefully I’m wrong and Gambia will do the right thing and covert my British court order, give me vacant possession if the villa and allow me to sell it and give him his percentage but by the time I have completed the process I will be financial ruined or dead. Please be very careful when getting involvedwith Gambian men and purchasing holiday homes there! They all have friends in high places it seems. My ex was already living in uk when I met him and I knew him for 3 years before we married. Turns out even his birth certificate was bought! He was several years older than I believed!!! I love gambia and it has do much potential now but the legal system needs a complete overhaul before you can risk putting any faith in it!

  73. Diane Harper-Camara

    I married a Guinean guy who I met in Gambia after a two year courtship and several trips to visit him in West Africa. He appeared to pass every test. When we met we were not privy to the extensive social media we have now. With the help of Facebook and Skype I learned that he had children I did not know about and at least one other wife. After three years of marriage and living in the UK, and following a very traumatic time in my life, I managed to remove him from my home with the assistance of police. Apart from the endless lies, deceit and affairs (even with one of my closest friends) his two years of charm turned into physical, financial and emotional abuse at the very least. I have since met many women who have endured the same fate. So WHY, WHY did two of my dear friends fall under the spell of two Gambian ‘nobody’ men on our trip researching traditional West African music this year? They knew my story and had witness my pain and suffering. And yet after two weeks of knowing these ‘men’ only one month ago, both are returning to marry them in April. These are not foolish, stupid or desperate women. We are all professional and, I like to think, intelligent if not emotionally intelligent (which came as a surprise). These men are so incredibly genius at their craft in grooming women. They are taught from an early age how to cast this spell on European women, and how to extricate as much money as possible from them, and their families. It is a phenomenon I am still in awe of! Having taken part in a UK documentary exposing these tactics of not just Gambian men, but men from many ‘third world’ countries, I was able to pass on at least one message worth considering. If you are thinking of marrying someone from one of these countries, then at least accept some responsibility for your actions. To pluck someone from their culture, families, music, food, homes and religions and plant them in a first world country brings its problems whatever the subterfuge behind their demands. The novelty of a flushing toilet soon wears off and depression will set in. And this, I believe, is a contributory factor to the demise of any hopeful long term relationship which ‘victims’ need to consider.

  74. Nashaun

    I am a British born black man in my 30’s…

    I read some of the posts but couldn’t continue and Hayley – all you and the rest of you white women are doing is encouraging this ‘one-sided-ness and blissful ignorance.

    You should know it was your great grandfathers and praised leaders whom created the desperate situation my Gambian brothers and sisters find themselves in.

    Not once will you accept (never have and never will accept) that we are human beings just like yourselves. If you are cut you bleed just like us, if your mothers and daughters, you home and your way of life are causally raped and murdered you will be traumatised in a multitude of ways for a very long time – just like us

    You white people love to judge but you never evaluate yourselves and the many crimes your world is built upon. You distance yourself from your reality then go to my home and take advantage of the desperate circumstances of Gambian men. You all know they have nothing and are desperate – what the hell would you expect! Open your eyes and smell the coffee, look in the mirror and ask yourself (with history in mind), what am I actually doing in Africa. The truth is that you know whats there and you’re all taking advantage then calling rape like you all did after slavery was (apparently abolished).

    None of you could ever face the truth because it would rip the very heart out of you….

    Lets be honest now dear white people

    • Hayley

      Wow, I’m not entirely sure why slavery has been brought into the discussion? There are some sad histories that are unfortunate and regrettable but nobody alive today is to blame for that!

      • Mrs.Coly

        Slavery is how you live the comfortable, cushy life you have today. So ignorant!

        • Hayley

          Hi Mrs Coly, thanks for visiting the site and leaving a comment. I think it is, however, most appropriate to refrain from making remarks about people’s life of whom you know very little. Indeed I do understand the history behind the slave trade, the discussion here though is not about slavery, it is about deceitful men who trick women out of their money and who play them to get a British passport. I do not see the connection to slavery from years gone by here at all!

  75. Vicki Sanneh

    DON’T lump all of us white people in the same manner..!! I am married to a Gambian man and he has been in Canada for a year now, we were married in 2015. I am more understanding of the black people then I am of white people. So PLEASE, do NOT say ‘YOU WHITE PEOPLE” as if we are all the same or even think the same.

    • Alaneia

      Hi. Don’t know how to comment here so Ill place my story as a reply to someone.
      I met a Gambian man online. Recent dating site. Both profiles said “only long term relationship” etc.
      We started talking. Soon I realized he lied about his age. Said he was 35 (me 37) and after we were talking close and planning the visit he admited he is around 30. Well around…do u know how old you are? He was 29. This was basically the turbiny point where I should take off and leave and block him I guess.
      He started saying “sorry, my life exp.is huge I don’t want to deal with younger bc having no topics to discuss”.
      Anyways we started moving forward bc after all I thought we should meet up to really get to know eachother better anyway.
      He went me his details. His passport and driving license etc.so I felt safe about him.
      I decided to travel there for a week of holidays. I needed to rent a car for him to pick me up from the airport. He sorted the basic place to stay for me. Until now I’m thinking “was that maybe his home hmmm”.
      The trip was fine. I met his family. His brothers sisters mother. Lots of children. Everybody loved me and I loved everybody. I felt he was protective. I felt taken care of minus I was paying for everything. All shopping all eating out all gas…everything. hmmm
      I watched him do different things such as praying, giving some little gifts here and there to poor ppl…i commented that pls do not use myoney for this bc I do not support begging. Especially kids….u never know over there if its the forced begging going on. Better give this change as pocket money for the kids of you fam who I know who I know go to school etc.
      Lots of times he was just quiet and glanced at me….I did not realize that very moment that women really have little voice over there. Men are in charge do me putting comments was iritating him very much.
      Over all my trip was satisfying. Nothing bad happened to me. I got to know his family. I was happy. I would like to mention here I did not go there for sex.

      Now after I had reached home we have had about two weeks of strong missing going on. And slowly time started deteaching us. I noticed tho that he was online long nights so kind of weird. He started being quiet. So I worried. I asked and he responded “i’m not feeling well”.
      So ofc I worried. Why? What happened?
      And it all started going down the hill: Im missing for my room rent, missing money for my daughter I should send….
      I said. U having such a big family pls go live with your brother or mom to avoid rent and just go to any reg job…driving, construction. Anything. He said. Yes Ill do that.
      Then again he asked: what did you say about the car? (I mentioned bfor that having a cousin in Germany and will do my best to get a cheap old BMW to ship to him do he can work as an independant driver).
      I responded that we need to wait a full month for this bc the costs of shipping are such. Let me mention that I’ve already had a muslim Swiss couple my friends who joined the project and said they want to help.
      He – my Gambian then said “maybe send now whatever money you can and I will borrow add to the amount and just buy the car in TG”.
      And that pisses me off. Bc how can he b able to borrow for a car and not having noone there to help with the basics.
      Today I’m thinking the house I was staying at was actually his house. I think he most likely occupy it with his Black woman. The car I was “renting there” was maybe also his. I regret not asking for the car documents to see the registration name”.
      Today I am sure Gambian men lie to white women a lot. They see you as an ATM. I think also Gambian men on majority have troubles with respecting women in general.
      And if I can advice anyone. I want to say to women it os ok to make friends and same time remember not to go beyond your posibilities and pockets to help them. Really I did not see a single person hungry or homeless over there in TG.
      Ok so so end up my story Ill say he started to call me names such as “heel” right after I admited how much I’m lucking trust for him. I said I was sorry and moved on never heard from again.
      Not sitting here heartbroken bc I did not loose nothing. He also did not loose nothing. I am sure today he was looking for a “Sugar momma” bc for him (don’t know about other Gambians) live lasts as long as the money is involved. Once the Hope for money is cut off the love is gone.
      Meantime while still talking I apllied for the legal invitation for him to visit me in Polan. When the invitation comes all stamped Ill send him the pic of it. Wondering what he gon act on it hmmm
      Good Łuck everyone on finding out about TG. I still love the ppl there and the country. Dont push yourself and involve too much bc the relationship means the efford together. Nothing one sided 🙂 peace&love

  76. Lawyer

    Wow nice post, It’s good to know when it’s a good idea to hire a lawyer. I like how you said that finding a lawyer to help you out.

  77. Donna

    When going through depression due to relationship break up, it seems your happiness have been quenched. i have also lost my boyfriend to another girl but he came back begging. i search for help online when i found a spell caster that cast a reuniting love spell to reunite us together. lovespellsolutiontemple.wordpress. com
    Email: 24hrslovespell@gmail. com

  78. Jennifer Reid

    Beware of a CHERNO SINGHATEH 40-year-old man

    He is after a UK visa and travels to the UK has an illegal immigrant.

    He bullys women into marriage and asks for many gifts so to be aware of his con

    He will ask for a mobile phone and will say his is very old and he will try and guilt you into buying one DONT he will say i really need a new phone my family will laugh at me with this old phone

    He will try and get your Bankcard and password and say my last girlfriend give me her bank card and password for the card this is very early on he will try this

    Once you’re with him longer it only gets worst he will ask for you to get him boxers, aftershave and much more.

    He has a son and he will ask for you to buy him a bag for school and want you to fund his school and buy him other things.

    He will say things look at my friend’s car his wife buy him that he is after a wife who will buy and fund him he is not a hard working man.

    The men he was friends with don’t work hard and are all out for what they can get out of their partners.

    He will insist on meeting your family it’s only for photos for the home office and his papers who meet family for the first time and goes in their house and takes many pictures hes very bad mannered.

    He’s a very greedy man you are pressured from the rest of the family to contact the home office

    The family are also out for what they can get

    He will force you to be a mother to his son and you have the baggie of all his family,cousins, Brothers and much more their not an independent they will not leave you in peace its what they can get out of you.

    Most of them deal in drugs to fund their way in life and are not from a loving caring honset place in their hearts.

    Cherno singhateh in on the badoo website looking to do the same thing using a women
    He’s a very rough lover and does not know how to love and care for a women

    He is very hard work and so is his family

    Cherno has two Failed marriages and a 40-year-old drug on a dating website he really does not have a lot going for him

    He’s about the street life dealing drugs in the street That’s is life and sending money back home and praying all the time for all the bad he has done

    so if you want bad sex, his family always wanting and needing praying all the time and disappearing to the mosque and lying and filling out visa forms Then this life is for you then .

    Good luck to the next person that takes him on and has to put up with him and his family.

  79. Wahl

    I was heartbroken that my husband moved in with another woman so I had a spell to bring him back home and stop the affair he had with her. In just 2 days he left her and went to live at the motel. He called to say so and get news of the kids. The discussion was pleasant, as if he was changing to become the man I knew when we got married. It was exactly as you said…. Now he’s back home and is absolutely crazy about me. I am so thrilled by this spell that I can’t find the right words to say how I feel right now. You are the best Dr Otor All I can decently say is that you changed my life and saved the most important thing in my life: My Family. Otorspelltemple@gmail .com

  80. mira

    Thank you for your miracle Dr Ojoka This article is dedicated to the Dr Ojoka I have been married with my wife for 6 years and recently she broke up with me and it hurt me deeply when she told me to leave her alone and that she does not love me anymore when i was always faithful and honest to her. I tried all the ways to get her back buying her what she wants like i always did and she still left me heart broken and she even has a new boyfriend which destroyed me even more until a friend of mine from high school directed me to this genuine spell Dr called Ojoka. This man changed my life completely. I followed everything he told me to do and my wife came back begging for me back. I was stunned everything happened exactly like he told me. I had faith in everything he told me and everything was true. Also he was there every moment until i got my happiness back and he also provides spells that cures impotence, bareness, diseases such as HIV/AID, Herpes, Cancer E.T.C. You can contact him via email at { dr ojoka spell temple@gmail .com }

  81. B

    More foolish they are I believe you are haters doctor and you should not judge the book by its cover. I married to western women 20 years this July. I met her when she was 41 and now she 61 years. We loved each other’s unconventionally but her western family never accepted me because I’m not white like they always says you are nothing to us but a foreign. I spent 20 years of my first marriage in isolation and destresstion simply because of people like you segregating dehumanised human race.

  82. B baba

    Few years we have British man who visited us in our house, claiming has been to the Gambia and meet this beautiful younger girl showed us the pictures of her and he been directed to us for future advises about my country. The pictures of the girl was not seem to us she is Gambian girl and her attitude of dressing as Gambian women is very dodgy. She even claiming her uncle lives in Yorkshire and he to was encouraging him to settle with her. He wants to sell his home and business for her. We advises him please take more time to get to know each other. He determined that she was the one for him as he dying to have kids and I told him if you do sell all your property and hoping Gambian beach girl who probably married to man so calling uncle and your paying someone else married lives not that even some of western tourists men as you found her on the beach….before you are after you. I think to make the world safer place for everyone. We mustn’t judge everyone with one dirty brush like you doctor. You wanting to ride black horse and you had them as much as your visited time gave you and now you are regaining in hates cabbages heart!

  83. Deborra

    Hi , all thanks 🙏 to Great Mutaba for helping me cast a love 💕 spell that brought back my husband who left me for another lady, thank you Greatmutaba@ yahoo .com

  84. Lisa

    If you go to an African country or an Island as a British/European woman acting desperate what do you expect. These countries have history, roots & culture in which a European woman can never understand because it’s already in the DNA.
    If you meet a guy in the Gambia or anywhere for that matter and he’s asking you for money that is a red flag right away.
    No one is that desperate for love to where they will throw away their money just for a charming man whose got that good good “D” if you know what I mean.
    I have had relationships with both African and Caribbean men and they got zero dollar bills out of me.
    I let them know upfront I am poor just like you are so nothing from nothing leaves nothing! 😀😂
    I will not buy a man, a husband, a lover, a prostitute or a companion.
    I have had quite a few proposals and if ANY woman decides she wants to go any further make sure this man has a stable well-respected job for over 7 years, his own house, own car, takes care of his children, you have met the family, friends and ex’s and atleast have some history of his culture because sorry, donot think him knocking your back out every night is love!
    Lastly, if he truly loves you he will NEVER ask you for a dime rush to marry in order to obtain a “green card” tell them upfront you are NOT their meal ticket and if they are in-love with you they will support you 100% financially in their country and if you marry sign a pre-nup stating whatever you came in with is what you are going out with.
    The guy that I am dating for 3 years now is a Pharmacist, has his own house, car, 1 child, met the entire fam and has NEVER in 3 years asked me for a dime!
    He offers to send me money when I am needy and want me to as his wife and I am a poor woman with nothing!
    So let’s not put foreign men out there to be scams.
    Because if you as a European woman is acting desperate for young, sexy well-endowed black men they will give you just that, but at a cost to pay.
    You cannot go to their countries and satisfy your sexual cravings for intimacy but when they come at you to take back they are now no good! It was no good for you to use them as sex slaves and think that’s ok to trap a husband.

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ABOUT

Hi, am Dr Hayley Stainton

I’ve been travelling, studying and teaching travel and tourism since I was 16. Through Tourism Teacher I share my knowledge on the principles and practice of travel and tourism management from both an academic and practical perspective.

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